Who am I?

My friend gave me this prompt, looking for entries into his poem collage. This is what I came up with.

I am the broken mirror found in the pond,
The giver of false images, the source of false pride,
I am the flawed voice of reason reverberating inside your head.
Wherein lies the echo chamber,
The unhinged lunatic, the monologue without end,
Its roots hidden, tucked away,
Somewhere in an electric maze.
A rapacious record stuck in an eternal loop,
My oozing feet shuffle on a broken emerald floor.
They gingerly dangle the passenger.
The lunatic pounds the black walls,
The echoes float through the veil,
I hear them and casually shrug.
I gaze through the broken mirror,
I strike the pond with a stick.
The ripples will tell me my path.

Reviews

[Tam Warink]

Reading between, around, above, below the words... now the words. Some stand out because of frequency like "broken." I've had this type of session too. Where the words reverberate inside your head. The shadows whisper the walls mumble just below audible perception. Perhaps it's a medical condition. Perhaps it's something more. It's the "something more" you should be concerned with. When people write such words you may be certain that dark things are on the prowl. Oh, it might be best to refrain from striking the deep waters with a stick until you are certain of what lies below the surface.

Well done, Mikael.

[M. L. F.]

Thanks for sharing this work with us. It has a certain elusive quality to it, a dreamy feel that I really appreciate. You should delve into poetry more, this one was a fine endeavor.

[Mikael Malmberg]

Sorry for taking such a long time to reply! Thank you for your review. With poetry, I find that I rarely end up with the originally intended effect. But maybe I will take your suggestion to heart.

[SleeplessVolcano]

Thought-provoking poetry!

Allow me some comments:
The adjective "unhinged" does not really describe the lunatic that well, since are not all lunatics unhinged? :)
Secondly, "electric" maze does not portray such a vivid image for me.....how about changing electric to eclectic? ....."eclectic maze" just sound so much more.....surreal than electric.....:)

Lastly, how about a synonym for lunatic when it is used the second time? It could add some variety and keep the reader guessing.

Thanks for sharing!

[Mikael Malmberg]

Thank you very much for the comments! I appreciate it a lot when people find the time to comment on my works.

In hindsight, "unhinged" does seem redundant when coupled with "lunatic". About "electric maze"... well, that's a part where I did not aim to be vivid, but subtle.

Indeed, I should've consulted my thesaurus to avoid repeating "lunatic". I won't make these changes to the poem, but I will keep these wise words in mind when creating my next poem! :-)

[Mikael Malmberg]

On the other hand, perhaps repeating "lunatic" is a way to reinforce that I am referring to this specific lunatic, and not somebody else.