Sandy Sushi

 

“It’s a dinosaur, you see??” the lanky finger points upward at the clouds. My hand in my hair, I pretend to look up. “No,” I say. “It looks like a heart or maybe a tree if you tilt your head this way.” I almost grab his face, nearly pull his lips to mine right then. But instead, I just watch his eyes reflect the sky. His face spelling concentration, he replies, “I don’t see it. Oh look there’s Pac man!!” I laugh still, this time peering up at the bright sky, letting my eyes adjust to being without him. I swear it’s so thick out here, like the moisture of the huge lake before us is casting itself over us with some secret intention. “It’s so damn bright out here. I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve looked at the sky.” “I know,” I shout back. “The color just… slices into my mind!!” He turns to me with complete seriousness. “It’s the clouds that blind you.. they reflect the sun.” I’m staring at him too fiercely, but I can’t turn away. Sighing, I fall onto my back, a precious song playing in my mentality. He does the same, putting his hands behind his head. “The clouds are easier to see from this angle.” His voice is like no other. Hearing it for the first time in so long makes a hole in my stomach, one that I know will burn thoroughly once he’s gone again.

   I’m so precarious these days, the days when things are too perfect; I know that I won’t forget it, that it will burn ember at the back of my throat when I’m lying in bed some time from now. I’m so damn precarious. Days like these are too tender on my soul, and all I can think of is how I want his breath on my face. Still I close my eyes and I think of the vast stretch of endings that constantly follows me, especially the notion of them whilst I eat and sleep and dream. I think I’ll be like this until he is with me forever.

   I’ll never really get to call him mine, and now, lying on this seldom-seen grassy hill that I love so dearly for one reason, though I wish that it could be for just one more, now I can really see the color of his eyes.

   “That sushi was sandy, I swear,” he says with a strange fixation of his lips. I just want to kiss them right now. If I could just feel them on mine, maybe I can have the memory of their taste. I swear I almost tell him, but his eyes meet mine, and then that sweet summery song comes on in my ears, secretly coveting him and I in something that I can only speak of to my veins later on in life. This I know as I lay still, this time on one elbow, staring down at the perfect fringe of hair around his eyes. I can almost taste the salt on his lips, the soft of his hair entwined in my fingers. I think of how I’ll never know the feel of his body molded with mine. And the urge comes like dearth. But instead I just smile and agree. “It was sandy, wasn’t it…”

  

And the clouds passed over our heads.

Reviews

[Broken.]

Aww, absolutley beautiful, and of course sad but I can't help but think who it was referring to (if anyone at all) but I'm guessing its not the usual... Anyway, I can see the passion you have for whoever "him" may be.
I hope maybe one day you can share this time with someone you do really and truly care about. Not just a little fantasy of yours or someone you know has vanished in a way... I love your dearest imagination.
I wish I could pop into your imagination quite actually, and maybe by that point I would be able to drift into YOUR subconscience...

[J.P.O.et]

You capture the frustration of longing and jonesing for someone very well here.
I love how she answers him as if she was looking up into the sky when her stare was
fixated completely on him and the line 'letting my eyes adjust to being without him'
is just so perfectly clever and to the point regarding her feelings about him. '
Like the description of the 'grassy hill' and feel you let the reader infer for themselves
what the 'one reason' is, yet maybe a little too much room for inference as I feel there is
room for expansion.

'secretly coveting him and I in something that I can only speak of to my veins later on in life.'
I get the 'secretly coveting' part but was a lil lost on the veins but alas you can enlighten me
if need be. I also agree with Larissa G. that with so much first-person narrative it could be
broken up a lil more to prevent any confusion but that is just cosmetic as the content is
really relateable and well done. I am sure there must be more to this story.

J.P.O.et

[Larissa G.]

Heh; nice little short piece. I think it needed to be more broken up so I didn't scramble lines together, but otherwise: :)

[Kat]

hah I knew what this would be about from the title.
....I remember buying that salty sushi.

This is sad though....

[speakingcolors]

i love this. i can feel the pain through the love in the words. probably because i know what it's like to want and long for someone but it can't be.

...

oh, well.

great, great, great write.

[EVERYTHINGyoucantelltoS..]

i absolutely love. the whole want but cant have i am familiar with, and i like the clouds and the sandy sushi *especially the title tie in or vice versa* .

Days like these are too tender on my soul, and all I can think of is how I want his breath on my face. Still I close my eyes and I think of the vast stretch of endings that constantly follows me, especially the notion of them whilst I eat and sleep and dream. I think I'll be like this until he is with me forever.
I'll never really get to call him mine, and now, lying on this seldom-seen grassy hill that I love so dearly for one reason, though I wish that it could be for just one more, now I can really see the color of his eyes.

i adore. this particularly struck me, there is something so animalistic in the driving, something so pure and yet. there is no single word to call it by.