double take

running ruinng far away

chasing dreaming of a perfect day

falling falling into love

wakeing wakeing up above

crying crying so many tears

waiting waiting for to many years

chaseing chaseing after my dreams

hideing hideing from all of my screams

blocking blocking those who lie

helping gathering those who try

yelling screaming please please please

falling falling onto my knees

swiming swiming to the saftey zone

what ever you do dont leave me alone

punching punching the demons away

scareming and kicking while trying to pray

laying laying on the ground the world is quite there is no sound

bleeding bleeding i have failed

dieing dieing i should have bailed

falling falling once again

thinking wondering if this is the end

 

Reviews

[Dylan I. Cree]

I liked this but it too rhymey for me, and the use of double words is nice but I would have liked less of it. One words works just as well as the same word twice. The line after blocking blocking sounds aquard. It takes a moment to adjyst to. You may want to space out your poems. It also seemed like you were going to continue that way until you went back with falling falling. Then you went back and forth between the two. It was slightly odd. try to be more consistent with your writing or more random.