no longer blind

no longer blind

A Poem by untoldtruth
"

I walk down the halls...

"

I walk down the halls the wrong way

just to catch a glimpse of your face

Your eyes go right pass me

not noticing the longing

the need to be with you

to know your every thought

to make your worries dissapear

 

I walk down the hall the wrong way

just to catch a glimpse of your face

Your eyes look down

not to me, but to your girl

your girl who goes around with other guys

your girl who put the sadness in your eyes

 

I walk down the hall the wrong way

just to catch a glimpse of your face

your eyes are forward

never on me, but on your girl

looking at your girl

looking at her kissing that other guy

 

I walk down the hall the wrong way

just to catch a glimpse of your face

your eyes go past me

they look back

remembering the times i comforted you

remembering the time i was your friend

the time before your girl put the wall up between you and me

 

I walk down the hall the wrong way

just to catch a glimpse of your face

your eyes are on me

a smile on your face

a smile i share

we are together, noone will tear us apart

 

 

 

 

 

© 2010 untoldtruth


Author's Note

untoldtruth
This is my first poem so it is probably filled with errors, but hopefully some of you will connect with it.

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Reviews

For a first poem this is fantastic, a strong starting point. You tell a clear story with great point of view to allow the reader to be part of it. I found it to be a little repetitive, but it worked well to get the story across. This is very easy to relate to, which helps to make it a strong piece.

Posted 14 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is amazing :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


the structure and the flow in the poem was interesting to read, but i have a small confusion on who the person is? is it the wife or a friend or someone else who regrets so much of the person not being noticed!

Posted 14 Years Ago


this is great!

Posted 14 Years Ago


great poem! Some girls who have guy friends that they like can really relate to this. It kinda reminds me of Taylor Swift's "You belong with me."

Posted 14 Years Ago


i can relate, this is an excellent piece

Posted 14 Years Ago



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373 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on February 27, 2010
Last Updated on February 27, 2010
Tags: oblivious, discovery

Author

untoldtruth
untoldtruth

crazy town, CA



Writing
Rush Rush

A Book by untoldtruth