Successful

Always taught that it could be measured physically,

Never realizing the truth inside,

Only knowing that happiness was the goal realistically,

Yet, still realizing that they lied.

 

Feeling their pressure, I collapse on words,

Still remembering the castle, now standing on ashes,

Always looking to the future, people in herds,

Furthering these grudges, dodging their outlashes.

Bashing, crashing, killing, and sin,

Fighting to survive, fighting to win,

Lava pools, heat waves, sunlight, and dead kin,

Breathing to revive, breathing to begin.

 

Looking out upon the lands,

Money controlling how they behave,

Happiness stripped from their hands,

As their touch is forced to their graves.

Reviews

[Odysseus Wanders]

Its such an interesting read. A mind journey it felt like to me. Like each line was pointing towards something for me to notice.... something about the human spirit. All of these events and things we do... as you describe and bring to life with images... leaves me feeling, or noticing, that really, inside of our skins, there lies something enormous in size... but restrained. Need is a good word. I feel your poem eludes to the great Needs of humanity.

[Jack...]

Now this is deep my friend. Took me to a dark place sitting on a hillside, watching your words unfold through a chilled hazy mist. Drug me right in and wouldn't let go. This is very inspiring work, Thank you for sharing.

[Pax]

Successful - well there are many various definition on this, it is upon on the person's need or his/her heart's desires.

Happiness like they say it is a choice. It easily attainable by choosing to. I always believed that I can achieve happiness anytime, yet my contentment is the most hardest to achieve. We as humans are hard to content that is why we are having a hard time finding happiness.

Wealth and money differs in definition and intent. Money can control many things, including an individual becomes a slave to it. Aren't we all - almost a slave to the power of money, even though we know deep in our heart that money doesn't buy happiness and true love. I believed that Money turns into greed, and that is a deadly combination. Like my friend told me, too much of something can be poisonous.

Weallh can be money, Money can be wealth, yet Wealth is something that the heart earns like love and compassion given to you.

very well expressed my friend.

[Vampaslick]

Thank you for your wise words. I have also heard about this easily attainable happiness, yet, many wonder if it is true happiness. It seems you've linked this with contentedness, which I support.
I sometimes find myself happy, or content, but not to my full ability. I feel like that is brought on my an outside force which brings success.
You're right, too much of anything is poisonous...even water.
Thank you for the review

[Pax]

you are welcome :)

True happiness lays deep inside, there is no other way outside, to discover, other than look inwards (at least first), others can influence you, but the one that should be loved is YOU and nothing else than that beautiful heart first.

I see you're a carrying person, way much more of others than first of YOU. :) this poem spreads a truth, many can relate too, and it's wonderful, how you bring words to life.... excellent sweet poet.

- Elisa

[Carmen Morgan]

Your imagery is staggering. Very poignant. As a poet, I can only admire the beauty here.

And to be that editor person, the beginning of the second stanza, "Feeling their pressure, i collapse on words" is that the singular I? I just noticed that and was curious.

[Vampaslick]

Thank you for your comment!:)
And as for the edit, yes, it is, I will fix that!

[Carmen Morgan]

Not a problem! Your work is delightful, and I look forward to seeing even more. ^_^

[Reese P. Holmes]

Somehow on the outside, I barely comprehend what's being described to me, and yet, on the inside I am touched in a way I rarely can be. There's something about the combination of the carefully selected words in just the correct places that really tugs on me. It moves me to a place I cannot see, to a world I cannot touch, to a place I cannot comprehend.

I am obviously reviewing a poet of the highest caliber.

[Vampaslick]

Thank you so much, your words mean more than you know

[AngeloRosell]

Beautiful piece, I feel a sense of astounding truth being told here. Success is truly only found in the heart.. Great job ! Keep it up