Smashed.

There they are again. Shadows dancing on the wall. Why do they have to come back. I don't want them here. I want them to go away. I hate them. I hate all of them. They make me hate myself. Which makes me hate myself more. I feel this grip on my heart when they come around. Squeezing the life from me. Taking my want to breathe again. I feel left alone in the cold. Freezing I move to walk find no way stand. I am lost in my own thoughts, thoughts of ill omens. I fake myself to be happy, slowly and ever so present. I smile, I nod, I wave, I laugh. I lie. I don't feel that way all the time, but I present it that way. I feel like being alone. I hate being alone. I despise myself a lot. Sometimes I lie to myself a lot. The only thing I ever have to look forward to lately when I get home is a rough night sleep and even rougher dreams. Taunting me, those shadows. I want to rip them to shreds. I want to tear them, rip them, break them with my bare hands. Yet I feel to terrified to stand. Stone stricken, stuck to the floor. I feel like a statue, only without the marbled beauty. Cracked, chipped, scourged I feel broken. Empty and hollow. The shadows creep along and take me away. Off to thier darkened dreamstate. To torture me with thier own half-truths and semi-lies. They whisper thier love in my ear, only to take if from me seconds later. Using me for thier ill gotten gains. The throw me away. Torn and battered, I lay here. Confessing my inner sins to all your ears. Hold me till I fall asleep. Protect me from the scary things that hide in my shadows. Keep me safe from my own designs. I am fearful that I may be my very own worst enemy...