Where I Live

journal prompt turned heart cry. 5 March 2012

Where I Live

transient in body but a stagnant soul

my shoulders ache

I can meet you at x, then go to y,

but I must get back to z

drive me here, I’ll get dropped off there

overnight bag always with me

uncertainty

instability

insecurity

I wait for the place my Daddy has promised me

a home

not a house

transient in body but a stagnant soul

my shoulders ache

overnight bag always with me

uncertainty

instability

insecurity

This is a map to where I live.

Reviews

[sherra.]

The repetition works so beautifully in this piece, and flows so well.
"I wait for the place my Daddy has promised me/ a home/ not a house"
This was absolutely stunning.

[Eagle Cruagh]

You may have lived there over-night
but now you know exactly where you
are and it aint far. You live in stability,
it is not far from security and you are
very certain about the major influences
of your life. Any questions ? "Ask away.
----- John

[Libby Stover]

Ain't that the truth. AT LEAST seven bags, all the time. :)
My favorite line: "I wait fo the place my Daddy has promised me/ a home/ not a house"

[Elaenor Aisling]

I love the emotions you so deftly convey in this piece. One really gets a feeling of the uncertainty while reading it. lovely work.

[Lumière Dé..]

this is wonderful :)

[Jeannette Gaspard]

I like this a great deal. It has a lovely flow and you've made excellent use of repetition to bring the emotion of the poem home. Flawless.

[just is]

I really enjoyed this write,
This is very well written and set up.

[bluessadmood]

ohh i loved this ,ha ha,but dont ask me why
typical of life,all lives,you just see it ,not all
lovely write

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

I like where you have been, though I cannot pretend where this will lead. Probably laughing cramps and holidays spent writing, I imagine.

My favorite lines were:

1. transient in body but a stagnant soul
2. overnight bag always with me