Eve

sometimes things are more than they seem to be...

 

Eve

 

This afternoon the gardens

 

 

of Earth have flourished;

past twilights were gray

as monotonous twilight of winter. 

This afternoon spring was born again: 

the veiled horizons discovered

dormant villages;

there were roses and violets in the blue of the firmament,

there was fabulous magic of colors and essences;

it was a nightfall of those

sweet springs in which my soul

seems to wander. 

 

In the nothing a something of deep transparencies floated

 

 

and the turns of the breezes, in a moment

drew themselves trembling;

a wave darkened the mysteries

of the evening... 

In the religious heavens

the stars of twilight half-opened;

and my soul was lost in the vague mist

of the last quiet and melancholy gardens... 

By the trees stuffed of blacknesses

there are terrors of some somnolent monsters,

of colossal snakes rolled

and gigantic scorpions;

and seems that of the depth of the paths

some mourning men come... 

The gardens are full of visions;

there are visions in my soul…

I feel cold, I am alone, I am sleepy... 

Memories pile up in my mind,

the softest memories

of the late evenings that gave me their colors,

their essences and their touch. 

So sweet are those afternoons of the land!,

(ah, the eves of heaven!) 

 

© 2008 Valerie Jones

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Good one, truly an amazing piece of art and great work in it

[Steven]

In the nothing a something of deep transparencies floated..

What a simple, brilliant line. Hope you've been well!

[Kimberly R. Larkins]

Hey Val, been a long time,
As always you do not disappoint. As I was reading this piece, I went back to the lines below, and all I felt like doing was putting my feet up to enjoy this poem and what I felt like would be pages of beautiful words written by you. Did not want it to end so soon.
Truly enjoyed.

This afternoon spring was born again:
the veiled horizons discovered
dormant villages;
there were roses and violets in the blue of the firmament,
there was fabulous magic of colors and essences;
it was a nightfall of those
sweet springs in which my soul
seems to wander.

[Eagle Cruagh]

Perhaps the most captivating characteristic
is the dreamy quality. The world is too full
of specialists. You have the magical quality
of drifting on a cloud, drawing verbal pictures
as you circle above. Beautiful.

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Lafayette]

Very nicely done, I like very much.

[Butch Decatoria]

Very Nice... like your religious references and comparisons. the end did it for me. (almost as if saying farwell to heaven even when the colors bleed into night). Great write.

~~PFluffer

[beefjerky]

wow... this is really good... i can't say anymore about how great you write, anyhoo... keep up the good work...

~i is bob~

[J. Alfred Prufrock]

your work is interesting. i enjoyed it greatly. i've read a few of your poems and like your imagery. your language is very flowery, and if i am allowed any advice i would say you may need to be a little more focused. you tend to drift in and out of "inner" and "outer" description without tying your metaphors together. With this type of poetry it is very important that you direct your readers so that they arrive at the desired conclusion. poetry is a kind persuasive arguement; in order to presuad your reader, and help them to see the world through the eyes of a poet, it's helpful to use the relationships within your symbolism to lead and guide them along. just a thought from an old poet. lol otherwise i enjoyed your use of language, and as a said you have a good eye for imagery. well done. i look forward to reading more of your stuff soon. take care

[Sean Allen]

I love the word firmamant and this poem is simply marvelous. It is just like a picture that you can look at over and over again seeing something different each time you view it.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

Um. Wow. You have come far, m'dear. This is beautiful. I haven't been around, or read your work in perhaps years. YOu have obviously grown and blossomed. The first 1/3 of this or so simply had me breathless.

"This afternoon spring was born again:
the veiled horizons discovered
dormant villages;
there were roses and violets in the blue of the firmament, "

Beautiful.

"In the nothing a something of deep transparencies floated"

Really impressed with this. Great way to start my morning. I felt that after that above line (which is simply incredible) you lost a little bit of the flow/power - it become slightly too ethereal/vague and gave me less to hold on to, tangibly. Regardless, it was still wonderful, and I loved it all the way through.

Hugs!