A struggle through history

Pyramids, Temples, works of art

We view it all through rose tinted glasses

So many people have played a part

Now their bones have turned to ashes

The struggle of a creative mind

Can never truly be defined

Da Vinci, Bernini, Raphael

Creators of beauty, They stand above us all

Each of them has a story to tell

Sometimes even the greats ones can fall

The struggle of a creative mind

Can never truly be defined

For me life is all about pain

The more you suffer, The more you gain

All of the s**t i ever put up with

Was mostly a result of me being destructive

The struggle of a creative mind

Can never truly be defined

Whenever I'm sad i don't let it show

If i let it affect me it disrupts my flow

All this emotion has brought a tear to my eye

So i will end this right now with a thanks and goodbye

 

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I like the repetition that you use here. I also like how you talk about the greats and your struggles. You did well with that and I would really like to see you add some more of that.

I think the poem starts to get weaker when it splits away from the greats. The fifth stanza of this poem is solid, but I think it takes away from the potential of the poem to speak about the greats. I think that it would be fine if you used this stanza in another poem that linked to this one.

I also would say that the rhyme in the last stanza are a bit off. Yes, they are perfect rhymes, but they don't really fit the direction of the piece. It comes off as rhyming just to keep with the form.

You built a really deep, musically sound group of work in the begging, and I would love to see you add to that because I really think you have something going there, so I apologize if I seem a bit harsh, but I really want to offer you the best comments that I can because you deserve to hear things that will make this piece that best it can. You clearly have knowledge and some skill with words.

[Tegon Maus]

Interesting how you draw a line between creativity and destruction... two sides of the same genetic coin. It’s that loose neutron that sends us one way or the other. Cool write

[quixotic_rose]

for not knowing much about poetic techniques you certainly got the hang of it :). I must say the last stanza is my favorite, or maybe its how I read it that made me laugh. anyways there was laughing in the last stanza. The repetition provides more introspect on the representation always a plus. nice work!

[ShadowWalker]

I'm not really much of a Poet, by this i mean i know nothing of technique and up until last week i had no idea what a stanza was (still not entirely sure on that to be honest) i usually just attempt to Write what i am thinking or feeling. However i am content with this piece.... I look forward to hearing what you guys think :)

[Lunny]

I'd prefer if you out glass and ash, instead of plural but it's not that artistic and creative...

[Lyfelucke]

Great poem and great read. Truth through a clear perception.

[V.J.C.]

Thanks for the great read, your poem connected with me on a level and i thank you for forming the words and putting them out for all to see.

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

This is really nice... And unexpected in tone. The cadence certainly matches the message. Effective use of technique here Robin.

[Black Hole Halo]

very nice, I think most artists, be they poets , musicians etc. actually struggle with depression, and the words somehow help them to formulate, isolate and expel they pain that holds them motionless.

[Allie]

I really enjoyed this, it is so true and I can relate it to my life in so many ways. Thanks for the read request and you are welcome to keep sending them to me.