Elysium

falling stars and fading lights

distant shadows on elusive nights

my time is short to write this rhyme

but all in all these words are  mine

i found the strength to carry on and now my fear is dead and gone

for all the pain we feel inside

we let it be replaced by pride

so here we are strong and tough and yet we know it's not enough

the ones we lost they still remain

waiting till we meet again.

Author's Note

all opinions are greatly appreciated

Reviews

[Forgotten]

I like this, I have a habit of reading poems that rhyme to see if it flows properly, and you know what this really does. I really liked the poem and I know how hard it is to write a poem that rhymes and works well, so I think I need to applaud you cause I can't do that. Great write.

[Muse]

my time is short to write this rhyme

Perhaps try instead "my time is too short to write this rhyme"

An interesting title. It gets an A + for title choice.

for all the pain we feel inside

we let it be replaced by pride

Those are my favorite two lines. Nice work!

[J. J. Nightingale]

OK .. HAD TO LOOK UP ELYSIUM .. AND NOW I KNOW ..

COOL .. JAZZ

[V.J.C.]

You have a real talent with words and having them just flow together. I liked this poems, thanks for the read.

[Melanieshaman]

well done!

[Liderien]

Hail Caeser, those who are about to die salute you.

[Liderien]

It is good, for sure.
The thought of elysium, the reward of heroics. Very nicely put together. Using words that are general yet powerful.

[Samuel Dickens]

Good job. Again, I see great rhymes and a wise, valuable message.

[MOON]

Poignant, the flow impeccable, waiting till we meet again.. lovely.

[Shadow Spirit]

This kind of reminds me of a friend I once knew. I like that it is simple yet has great meaning. Well done. ~DMX