"Web Weaver"

 

  "Web Weaver"

 

Your web...was woven so well,

Any outsider...could not tell;

What was the way to reach the door,

That so many...had searched for.

 

You spun your web, interwoven with lies,

Full of half truths and false alibis.

Then you wove your way...deep within,

Where no other...had ever been.

 

Your web sits shining, in the sun;

A beautiful edifice...now it is done.

But...all is dark glass, on the outside;

What lies inside...where you hide?

 

There are no windows, and no doors;

No way to see...if inside...there is more.

You have traps woven into the outside;

To stop anyone, from ever reaching...your side.

 

Now and then...you wander and roam;

Then hurry and hide...within your home.

All hearts stop...when you appear,

The look of an angel...passing near.

 

You have locked yourself, inside your web,

Stepping out now and then...just to be fed.

You prey on others, and have your fun,

Leaving decaying carcasses, when you are done.

 

You wove a web...to protect your heart,

To trap outsiders...before love can start.

Hurt once by love, now you just hide,

Inside of your web...where trust has died.

 

Valentine

Reviews

[R Smith]

great work Kathie it almost made me thinking of a spider setting its traps, i know though that its about someone who would deceive and lie to take your love and then desert you, very sad and heart rending writing :)

[Valentine]

Many thanks for your review. Kathie

[Lizardo]

Wow I love the concept of the poem
Trap in a web... in a web of thougths and problems
Nice work!

[Valentine]

Thank you. Valentine

[Roshan Nair]

The life of the emotionally caged comes to mind when I try to decipher the metaphors you've used here kathie, a very engaging read as the imagery is quite intriguing with the web and the character.
Great work again! Cheers!

[Valentine]

Thank you for reading this. Kathie

[~]

I could not help but think of the web and how it glitters under the sunshine. It is a marvelous sight indeed. Yet, we can use these things, to lock the sunshine away, and you said it exactly why- to protect something that should not reside in darkness, or it will die.

[Valentine]

Spiders weave a web to catch food. It keeps other things from getting to them. Valentine

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

its a nice poem......it has sadness and awakening................. KEEP WRITING :)

[Sami Khalil]

When trust dies, foundations crumble. Doubt creeps in and out. What appears near appears far fetched. This had sadness and awakening after that. Bravo...........

[Valentine]

Thank you for your kind comments. Kathie

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).....

[KonxOmPax]

I like it. Pretty nice. The rhyme is pretty consistent cept in a few places. I agree with the previous reviewer about the periods. Pausing for them doesn't lend the rhyme in any rhythm as opposed to just using a comma or no punctuation at all in some places. Also, if the web is shining I don't think that goes with dark glass being on the outside which would produce the opposite effect. Not that I'm trying to be overtly analytical (or even analytical at all) but I don't think the imagery goes well. Just my two cents. :)

[David Lewis Paget]

Whoa! And this is the Valentine that doesn't like sad endings! I'm not comfortable with your method of indicating pauses, the three dots. To me a comma would do the same job, and this method tends to indicate that you don't have any faith in the reader's ability to pause in the right places. It also tends to force a false rhythm to the lines, with breaks in the strangest places. As far as the actual storyline or message goes, I understand your point, but I think that some of the metaphors are skewed. For instance, why is it all 'dark glass' on the outside of a 'web'. A web is transparent - or at least it was when I was weaving them... (lol)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

" Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly" lol I really liked this Valentine. It's so true that many get discouraged in love and the fine wine of love is spoiled into vinegar. Then they want to spit it into every friendly face that looks their way. Great moral in the poem.