"Pauper"

      "Pauper"

 

All...that was of value

in life...was you.

The only wealth, held

in these hands was you too!

Now my pockets are empty..

as love walked away,

A "poor man" stands...

where love did not stay.

 

The world's wealth was held

in the palm of my hand.

All of value and worth walked away,

this heart understands.

You were diamonds and pearls..

all that was of value to me;

I became the lowest pauper,

when you set me free.

          Valentine

Reviews

[Melinda McQueen]

I know how it feels to have someone you love walk away. You conveyed the emotion so well.
A good write.

[ANTO]

Kathie when I had read this I was reminded of the phrase - maybe a Biblical one but I heard it sampled on a record in the 1990s - 'what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his own soul'. Material things have no real value in terms of making one happy or sated.
:)

[BougaTimeBongo]

I enjoy this very much. It's so honest, and I can only imagine the pain one might feel when someone this important were to walk away. My thoughts on refining it would be that the ellipses in the first stanza are a little distracting and I would eliminate the quotation marks around poor man in the second stanza. I think the third stanza feels a little forced and reiterates what you've said before and after, so personally I would discard it. Finally, I'd replace "lowest pauper" with something like "most destitute pauper" or "neediest pauper", something more that infers wealth rather than social status. Love this, send me a read request should you apply any of these changes, I'd love to see what you do with it!

[andrew mitchell]

Love and happiness and health are things money just can't buy and time!! nice write Valentine