Blood

I want you all to know that im very young. im leaving it at that.

Turning right and turning left. Inching every-which-way searching for a path to get to the heart. Fitting into the smallest places. Thin like a hair. White blood cells a.k.a. The Soldiers. They die in battle everyday. Having to fight HIV,STD's,human papaloma virus, everything. Are we so crazy as to compare our blood to ourselves? If that's what you call crazy, then take me to an asylum.

Reviews

[Collette]

First of all, congrats on being a young writer! You undoubtedly have the passion and talent, and it is definitely evident in your poem. You took an interesting angle with the view of blood. The entire concept as a whole was actually very different. The first mark of a good writer is being able to see things differently! hah
my favorite lines=
Are we so crazy as to compare our blood to ourselves? If that's what you call crazy, then take me to an asylum.

very clever!

as far as criticism goes, there isn't much to say. Perhaps you could change the structure a bit, the paragraph form is distracting to me. Although, even as is, it still gets the point across.
For a young writer, you have a mature ability.
Thank you for sharing!