Loneliness

You search and search

for someone who cares,

anyone who understands...

loneliness,

it hurts,

it kills you deep inside,

it makes you feel empty,

it stops you in your stride,

you cry yourself to sleep,

hugging your pillow tight

wishing for someone

to hold you through the night.

Reviews

[Jaysun]

Arthur C Clarke said..."Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying."

It does not take much thought to see the relative truth in that. It is both very funny and, depending on your depth of seriousness, can be frightening as well.

"Loneliness. It hurts. It kills you deep inside. It makes you feel empty." If you wrote this from what you feel in your heart, it is easy to cry for you. The writing is most poignant. But, as your screen name implies, It Will Change. And in a moment, you will realize that the things we feel...are always the choices we decide to embrace. And it does not mean that whatever we decide to embrace is beholden to us to never let it go or feel something else. It's always up to us. Nice job!

[Lijo Jose]

Enjoyed it. Keep writing

[Priyanshi]

So true...when we are in pain we do that and search for someone who can understand our pain well and we can share with him/ her.....well written.

[It Will Change]

Thank you dear :)

[Priyanshi]

My pleasure.

[Wajiha Nayeem]

ah!
what a wonderful poem it was..and i could relate to this!
beautifully written.

[It Will Change]

Thank you and keep reading :)

[Paradox]

Impacted deep into my mind.
Great write.
Each and every word is wisely chosen.

[It Will Change]

Thank you :)

[heartspeaks]

Struck straight through heart... Totally relatable.. each and every sentence.....

[It Will Change]

Thank you :)

[APOORVA]

a daily story and a true one

[It Will Change]

yes its liike a routine ...thank you for reading :)

[Rynn]

"You search and search
for someone who cares,
anyone who understands...
loneliness,
it hurts," - I like what you're going for, I would suggest adding more description. Don't tell us that loneliness hurts - Show us. How does it hurt? What does it taste like? look like? sound like?

"it kills you deep inside,
it makes you feel empty,
it stops you in your stride," - Again, you have a good outline, but I think it needs more than just stating things about loneliness. I like the stride line because it gave me something to imagine - envision.

"you cry yourself to sleep,
hugging your pillow tight" - This is good, I like the imagery - tap into that empathy and think about how you would explain this without cliche's, to someone who was feeling it for the first time.

overall, I like the idea, and feel this is a great outline. I think it could use a bit more as far as imagery goes. Don't tell the readers - move them. Make the feel by showing them. Thank you for the read, Write on.

-Rynn

[It Will Change]

Thank you very much for reviewing Rynn...its hard to describe how it hurts but i'll definetly try to work on it. Thank you :)

[Rynn]

I understand, describing things like that isn't easy. I believe in you. Looking forward to more great material :)

[Abhishek Asthana]

that's really true,,the word 'loneliness' itself is a curse... pretty piece...keep writing

[It Will Change]

Thank you :)

[Mr.Writer]

Touching, mesmerisng! Very well done!

[It Will Change]

THank you Shaan :)