Something to Say

I’ve thought of countless ways to say this
Ultimately deciding to say nothing at all
It only occupies a fraction of my struggle
Fighting a battle with my back against the wall
And saying it out loud may not change a single thing
But I some how wish that it would
Hoping to rejoice in the relief it could bring
Yet there’s the strong chance we would crumble to our feet
Or perhaps I’d be the one left on the ground
Wallowing in my defeat
Still to this day I keep questioning
Why I’d make a bed in the trees
Only to eventually be cut down
Forced to my hands and knees
Never wanting to have hurt you
Thinking we could be strong
But this foundation we built isn’t steady
We proceeded even though we both knew we were wrong
How long did we think we could keep it going
Setting all real feelings aside
Keeping any emotion from showing
Acting as if we were just along for the ride
Well turns out the journey has a destination
And we have to decide if we want to get off soon
I guarantee I’ll leave my heart at the station
And getting you back will be chasing the moon
Back to what I was saying before
About saying nothing at all
I’m afraid by me saying, I’d be setting up to fall
Which I know is not your intentions
Because why get caught up in a dead end
I’ll admit these words are worth mentions
Even if meant as in terms of just friends
So here is goes, like air leaving my lungs
And so if we ever do depart
You’ll know where my heart always belongs
I love you
Not in the sense that I’d die for you today
But that if needed, I’d give you a kidney
But we’re not the same blood type either way
When I say I love you, it’s hard to say what I mean
It’s more like for your presence I’ve become a feen
You pervade my thoughts and dreams
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you
And honestly wish for your happiness
That your sadness will effect me too
That I find peace in your closeness
And the smell of your hair is so sweet
I’m not talking about the scent of roses
More so the feeling of you next to me
Clinging you to my chest makes my insides heavy
And that without you I feel something is missing
Feeling my heart pound when we’re kissing
And knowing that every step we take is risky
Despite it all I push on
Because If your the moon, I am the sun
Two opposites trying to get along
For me it seems all worth it
Even though loving you is far from perfect.