I Am Invisible

I tried to put in words how I feel in my head. This is my first published poem on here so please any reviews or helpful advice would be welcomed. Thanks for reading :)

Fogged

and loaded with smoke

as thick

as the cloak

of the dark.

I ball

with tear after tear

that falls upon the stained

lap of my misery.

mystery.

momently quaked 

by the emotions

that overcome

my shattering bones.

Collapsing

under the throne

of stone sadness.

I am invisible.

Gone

Without a whisper

of thought or worry

yet body here

behind the eyes of many.

I crawl

through the walls

yet fly above them all.

Shaking

of uncertainty.

I am invisible.

Author's Note

I'm actually more of a story person, and less of a poet. This was pretty much a spur of the moment thing but I do actually love poetry and the story they tell behind the words, so any advice on how to improve would be awesome.

Reviews

[Kristina]

This is really good for someone who claims not to be a poet! This has the feel of slam poetry, which you don't see much of. You did a great job conveying a deep sense of sadness. I don't know if it's from personal experience or if you're just really good at expressing emotion, but I really felt this.

[Vicki]

Wow thank you Kristina! I'm actually a huge fan of slam poetry so maybe thats where I get my inspiration from.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Phenomenal writing. Never concern yourself with rhyme entirely, the ideas count more, keep writing everything you have talent!

regards,
al