Norah

This chapter introduces Norah, love interest to Ava. This chapter is from Ava's POV. This book centers around an LGBT character and relationship, so if that will put you off, stop reading now

She is so beautiful. Every time I see her, I catch my breath. It makes me wonder what she sees in me. She turns around and winks at me with her long shadowy lashes. Her eyes glint, they're a beautiful grey blue. She looks confused and pushes her hair out of her eyes.

'What? Why are you staring at me?'

I blink, regaining focus and smile up at her. 

'I'm sorry, sometimes it's like I'm seeing you for the first time'

She gets closer to where I am sitting on her bed. She bites her lip and then grins. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever known, and I know that in my few years on this earth I haven't know that many, but she will always be one of them, I promise you that.

'You're weird sometimes, you know that right?'

I laugh and she settles down onto the bed beside me. I push a strand of brunette waves off her face and tuck it behind her ear. Catching me by surprise, she kisses me and I let out a little gasp. She winds her hands into my mess of red hair and I snake my arms around her waist. Our heads are close, our foreheads resting together. I breathe in her scent. She smells of vanilla, and coffee. I look up at her, into her eyes. I know it's a cliche but I could just get lost in them.

'When does your family get home?'

She laughs, this beautiful laugh. It's a great sound. I never get tired of hearing her laugh, or talk, or anything. She makes me a better person, honest to God, she does. 

'What are you suggesting?' She says, jokingly. She sits up straighter and pulls her tangled mahogany locks into a messy bun. I kiss her again and she responds. I taste strawberry bubblegum and cigarettes. Her arms move to around my neck and I pull her closer until there are only millimeters between us. Her skin is warm, soft and I trace the line of her jaw, leaving a trail of kisses from her mouth to her neck. I run my hands from her shoulders to her wrists, following the pattern of her veins, a map of roads and rivers. 

She's wearing a pale blue blouse, patterned with birds, buttoned down the front. She looks at me, as though giving me permission and I begin to undo them, carefully, slowly, not wanting to make this any less perfect. She laughs and gives me a look, as if to get me to hurry up. She never was patient. I unbutton it faster, completing my task and she takes this as her queue to relieve me of my loose fitting tank top. From this point onward it's all a blur of skin and kisses and then we're falling asleep...

Author's Note

Leave comments please. I would love to know what you think

Reviews

[Persona]

I like the idea of a non-straight relationship, way to deviate from the norms. One thing - don't tell your reader to stop reading because they will take your advice. The chemistry comes to life from the page. I feel the magic between the two - but please identify which character is which. I dislike ellipsis.

[Willow Radcliffe]

That's a good point. I can see that it's difficult to distinguish the characters. I'm going to work on it.

[Rachel Mason]

I kind of fell in love with Norah myself, just reading about her. The narrator is so sweet and sincere about how she feels about Norah. I think it is easy to see yourself as Ava, and that is important especially when writing about the LGBT+ population since your audience may not be familiar with the dynamics of a relationship that's not stereotypically heterosexual.

[Willow Radcliffe]

I'm glad you felt that way about her. Thank you so much, and I'm glad you liked it

[Tiberio Tano]

The piece presents a very vivid scene. Although it describes the other character, the narrator is the one being described, indirectly. Don't worry about the 'wrinkles'. They come out during editing.

[Willow Radcliffe]

What do you mean by wrinkles? I often don't notice things when proof reading. My only other question would be, do they seem real? Because otherwise I haven't achieved what I set out to do

[Tiberio Tano]

Oh yes, they are real. It is easy to identify with the characters. As for wrinkles, here is a small one " Again, she is one of the most amazing..." Looks like you noticed it too which is why you inserted the word 'Again'. Small 'glitches' I guess. Also some comma placements which cause the reader to stop at the wrong time. "She laughs, this beautiful laugh". But like I said, this is nothing to worry about. Practice will iron out these small things. I'm sorry, I'm being a perfectionist now. :)

[Willow Radcliffe]

That's alright. I love getting reviews. It's really helpful. I genuinely appreciate any comments on anything I write

[ASHIDASH]

I felt as if iwas watching a movie... sooo dramatic and lively. A good work of art

[Willow Radcliffe]

Thank you. This is actually my first attempt at writing romance