The Enchanter

The Enchanter

Yesterday saw a man 

In the middle of the street

Holding a can 

With a gap between ground and his feet 

He was an Enchanter

Showing some trick 

Told by my sister

Standing upon a brick 

She could not see his face 

So she walked towards him

But soon gains some pace

Because lights were going dim 

By the time she got there

That man had left away

Noticing she was the only one standing here 

Her world turns to gray

Searching him all the way

Her eyes filled with tears 

 Love you , she wants to say

When words choke ,as her neck sears 

That day I saw another magic

This time with the heart of my sister

Which was taken away with just a trick 

Performed by that Enchanter

~ uTkArSh SiNgH

Reviews

[Glass Heart Inc]

This was a very fun poem and a good story. It's sad that your sister didn't get to talk to him. Just a couple of things I would change: "here world turns to gray" should be "her world..."
"she want to say " should be "she wants" or "she wanted" also "gain some pace" should be "gains" or "gained".
"by the time she reaches there" seems odd maybe you should say "by the time she got there " or "by the time she arrived there "

Keep writing this was very good! :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks encantado.........i have corrected them .....btw these were my typing error .....thanks for highlighting them .......and could you please tell me in detail about that reaches and arrived in PM......and thanks for the review

[Penny]

A like poems that rhyme. And well this one, it has so beautiful a rhyming scheme, someone like me would never be able to dislike it. Also, the story is good and the little mysterious element at the end.. bang! Very entertaining piece. Thanks for sharing.

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks for reviewing my poem ,..and i'm u like it ..........
:D

[Penny]

You are 'glad' I hope. Lol. My pleasure.

[Utkarsh Singh]

oh ! sorry.... typing error ...... i'm glad u like it ..........now u can say my pleasure/............:D ;)

[Penny]

I kno it was an error. I ws just teasing u.

[Utkarsh Singh]

mmmmmm..... very bad......well...any one can tease me any time .......(y)..:D

[Mary Ochoa]

Aww such a cute but also sad poem. Great work! I wanted to hug your sister so she wouldn't hug. I felt it was that deep:) Keep writing friend! :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thank you very much mary

[Vidya Bacchus]

I liked this very much U Singh.You are really becoming so much better with every poem you pen :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks vidya ........its all because of the reviews given by you and other writes also ........glad you like it

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)