The Enchanter

The Enchanter

Yesterday saw a man 

In the middle of the street

Holding a can 

With a gap between ground and his feet 

He was an Enchanter

Showing some trick 

Told by my sister

Standing upon a brick 

She could not see his face 

So she walked towards him

But soon gains some pace

Because lights were going dim 

By the time she got there

That man had left away

Noticing she was the only one standing here 

Her world turns to gray

Searching him all the way

Her eyes filled with tears 

 Love you , she wants to say

When words choke ,as her neck sears 

That day I saw another magic

This time with the heart of my sister

Which was taken away with just a trick 

Performed by that Enchanter

~ uTkArSh SiNgH

Reviews

[Glass Heart Inc]

This was a very fun poem and a good story. It's sad that your sister didn't get to talk to him. Just a couple of things I would change: "here world turns to gray" should be "her world..."
"she want to say " should be "she wants" or "she wanted" also "gain some pace" should be "gains" or "gained".
"by the time she reaches there" seems odd maybe you should say "by the time she got there " or "by the time she arrived there "

Keep writing this was very good! :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks encantado.........i have corrected them .....btw these were my typing error .....thanks for highlighting them .......and could you please tell me in detail about that reaches and arrived in PM......and thanks for the review

[Gurleen Saluja]

A good attempt.. Well written :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thank gurleen dear

[Gurleen Saluja]

You are welcome

[Utkarsh Singh]

.............:D

[Ayushi]

Very nice and interesting poem :)
Magic is really something that can spellbound someone.

[Utkarsh Singh]

true ayushi ..and thanks for your review ............:D

[chitra dhara]

"Searching him all the way
Her eyes filled with tears
Love you , she wants to say
When words choke ,as her neck sears"...........so melancholy ...a story beautifully unfolded ...nice work my friend...thanks for sharing!

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks for the review chitra.....:D

[Rachelle]

Utkarsh, you are growing in every new work you pen! I look forward to more work from you!

[Utkarsh Singh]

thank you rachelle

[Nena]

Well, your writing errors are corrected already so I don't find it necessary to point it out again. Other than that, quite a good poem it was :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks .....:D

[The ArK]

An enchanting poem Utkarsh, nicely done.

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks ......:D

[Lonely Scorpio Girl]

The poor dear sister :)
There is an element of magic in this poem that touches the readers' heart.

[Utkarsh Singh]

thank you LSG for your precious review

[Pi]

Great poem! You do have a few grammar errors but I'm sure if you keep writing your grammar will gradually get better :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

Pi are there more grammatical mistakes other than what encantado pointed out ....?

[Pi]

I don't believe so! I noticed your mistakes but reviewed the poem later sorry if I confused you :)

[Utkarsh Singh]

k................:D

[New Theory]

I love it when stories are told in a beautiful poem, work on the grammar, you are going great

[Utkarsh Singh]

thanks brother .......and yes i'm trying my level best to improve my grammar ........