"LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME"

" LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME "

In the days of summer's bloom

You were alone in the room 

Waiting for someone who was late 

Was your teacher looked so great

Sitting there in red and blue

Your eyes looked like ocean's blue

The face which shines so bright

As the snow look so white

While staring badly at you

Sticked to my chair with the glue

Nearly forgot to attend the class

Admiring you through the window glass

And some thoughts ran through my mind

A feeling which I usually never find

Hardly  your  eyes   contacted mine 

When I fall in LoVe FoR ThE FiRsT Time

    Now everything was smooth like a cream

    She was the girl who visit my dream

    It was just a matter of sight

    And my heart took its first flight.

~ utkarsh singh (killer)

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

I like the construction of this--gives you the visual sense of falling "in love"... Very sweet sentiment.. Some of the rhymes seem forced in my opinion.. It kind of takes away from the passion, from the beauty of the message.. Also I would consider another adverb besides "badly to describe how you were staring at her. (doesn't really romantically convey the longing, intense attraction that you are trying to express here).... In the next line, maybe say "I was stuck to my chair like glue"... (not sure sticked is a word)... Throughout the poem, you write in past tense, yet you say "when I fall in love for the first time. This has me confused.. Did you fall in love? Is this not what the poem is about, your falling in love with this girl.. Should it then not be When I fell in love for the first time? .... I noticed a few other places where the tense was confusing, was this in the past, is this happening right now? I really do like the sentiment, the sweet lighthearted expression of something that hit you deep, and the construction is very creative and enjoyable to me.. I hope this helps some...

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

This is so beautiful, I love it. :-)

Kaze~

[Skai Rain]

This is so beautiful. Actually made me feel a little excited to hopefully feel this way soon. It put a smile to my face :)

[Penny]

Firstly.. i love the picture. It adds another dimension to the poem. And this verse, it looks like a confession to me more than anything, you know a sweet and spicy college romance.. hehe. Whatever you call it, thid piece is surely entertaining, brings a smile to your face. Well done.

[DKLaw]

nice writing, it was an easy read. very sweet.

[Ayushi]

Having crush on a teacher is really common and you have described this first love so well.
I liked your choice of words.

[Brook]

Very lovely poem. Good write!

[Matching Socks]

What a beauty. Love at first sight. ;)
You've captured that innocent moment so beautifully and then the subtle longing that follows.

[Gurleen Saluja]

A good write.. represents an intense feeling :)

[Thea]

It feels so refreshing remembering those days of meeting that special someone. Must be a great feeling to have him/her. Love can be so magical at its own ways. That fast heartbeat. That invisible. That baffled mind. Hahaha. This was a good poem. Full of emotion and affection. Nicely done!