Musical Fingers

This poem goes out to all piano players who've had this experience. I know they feel the music inside getting ready to pour out to the their fingertips

                                                                       

                  I'm situated in my seat, ready to play this melody

              Fingers poise over the places of the piano keys

     Give in to my sweet melancholy and watch as the truth unfold 

               The grief that's in my past is fore-ordained to be told

                                                              

           Listen as my consonance begins to fill the whole room

         Don't worry about mistakes because I'm in perfect sync

           This global expression would do wonders to the womb

                           It's a story of sorrow and gloom  

               As you watch and receive the melody in your ears

                                Let drown out all your fears

                                         

                  Then we'll share the passion and be in harmony

                               See, this isn't just a formality

It's about listening to music as soothing as the feel of water 

      Like the gentle splashes of the ocean rocking against the stones

                  Recognize, don't forget the holiness of my song

                       Because it'll change your life forever

Author's Note

Hope you Enjoy:) this poem

Reviews

[Riley Bray]

Though I am no pianist, I do appreciate a good musician. (I happen to play many instruments, my favorite being Viola). From artist to artist, I do feel emotions such as these revving up in my soul before a performance, and its quite a spectacular and euphoric experience indeed. I love how you attempted to capture these welcomed stomach butterflies, however there are a few things I feel you need to change a bit for sake of this poem. :

"I'm situated in my seat ready to play this melody"---comma after seat

"Fingers fixated over the places of the piano keys"-----fixated means acquiring an obsessive attachment, so using poise in its place would make more sense.

"Give in to my sweet melancholy and watch as the truth unfold"----I don't feel that unfolding is the correct word...maybe play out?

"The grief that's in my past is destined to told"----destiny is a bit of an abstract idea for this poem, perhaps say ready?

"Don't worry about mistakes because I'm in perfect sync"---little bit of an odd line here

"This global expression would do wonders to the womb"-----little bit of an abstract idea for this poem, since it sort of floats on its own.

"It's a story of sorrow and gloom, so don't blink"-----the words "so don't blink" sound strange and out of place in this line, I think it would be fine without them. Otherwise you could say "so listen well"

"As you watch and perceive that it's gold to your eyes"----watch and perceive don't really go together, since watching is with the eyes and perceiving is more a process of deduction from the mind. Besides, this poem does more for the sense of sound than the sense of sight, so gold in your eyes doesn't make a ton of sense.

"And fire in the cold"----this appears just to be floating on its own, since it doesn't really connect with anything.

"See this isn't just a ceremony"----this sounds a bit weird...a comma or question mark after see would help it a bit.

"It's about listening and hearing music as soothing as water"-----listening and hearing are not really two different words, try a direct synonym of hearing to replace listening. (or vice versa). I think you should add "the feel of" in between as and water.

"Like the gentle splashes of the ocean"-----against....what? Rocks? Sand? That would add to this line.

"Recognize, don't forget the tune of my song"-----this line sounds a bit odd and doesn't make much sense, mostly because it has no connection to the previous line.

"Because it'll turn to change your life forever"-----what will turn? Maybe try a different word...

Again, a good try at capturing a difficult feeling. :) Splendid William!! 90/100

[SeismicTurtle]

This is an excellent review! The poem has already improved a lot since my initial read but if you meditate on this review I think you'll pull off what you're trying to accomplish with it.

I'll be watching with interest because I'm a pianist myself and I understand what you're trying to say and am eagerly anticipating your rework. The thing is, this poem should work for both musicians and listeners and I think you're on the right track.

[Riley Bray]

Haha thank you. I work hard on my reviews. :) I definitely agree it should speak to the common non-musician as well, William truly is a budding writer, isn't he? :)

[Alexander Rodgers]

This is my favorite of your work so far. I love the musical aspect of it and the creativity, you did well and let it flow, it came from the heart, and that's great.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I enjoyed the images and meaning behind this poem. With that said, your rhyming is all over the place and in the last stanza, non-existent. It messes up the flow of your poem. I would really like to see you take the time to learn about rhyming poetry. There are a lot of sites online to teach you. It would really help with the flow of your work.. and keep people like me off of your back.. lol

[Souladareatease]

Excellent write, Borne to music I am as well- and this played well--pen on!!!

[Simon Welsh]

I love that last stanza :)

[Baby Ricochet]

William my friend I'm afraid the lettering made this a tough read.