I don't feel good tonight

describing the "relief?" of surviving...

　

I don’t feel good tonight

 

I don’t feel good tonight

I just don’t feel like me

 

I want to read a poem

My eyes wont let me see

 

My heart wont stop pounding

My mind wont let me breathe

 

Recalling the grasp I escaped

With little more than a scrape

 

I was lucky today

Stupid as I may be

 

I survived to tell

Of my own short comings

 

Maybe if I didn’t dress

For the meeting today

 

I should have stayed in bed

Or just worn jeans instead

 

That man would not have thought

I was his to have

 

Even amid my protests

It was my arm he tried to grab

 

So it must be me

The clothes I choose

 

Maybe I sat the wrong way

Perhaps I should eat more

 

Get a bit more jolly

As some would say

 

At least maybe then

I wouldn’t have to call in shame

 

And tell you sobbingly

That a man I didn’t know

 

Tried to take

 

What I was not giving freely

 

I did not give

 

I did not consent

 

I did not ask

 

Nor will

 

But as I lay

Trying to rest today

 

 

Amidst the aches

He gave

 

I fight the tears

I don’t want you to hear

 

I wonder why

No was not enough 

 

UKV

12/29/2011

Reviews

[Coffee Vampier]

That would be my living hell...very emotional and strong, well done.

[emmajoy]

Days can be as dark as hell .. switching on night can be brighter. Seems such a sad state of mind here, a mind calling to go back in time, step into a place where doing something - anything different, would have been a blessing.

Your format, your phrasing is unusual here .. has that *look at me, notice me, i don't mind, i don't care*, BUT it's all created with great care, great emotion.

' I fight the tears ~~ I don’t want you to hear ~~ I wonder why ~~ No was not enough ' .. that's been said too many times before, but, not in the unique way you've put it.

A powerful rambling through your mind dear... I like the way you putting the perfect rutine, of a blurry day out in words... I love your doubts, as they are purely natural. This is just the way it's perfectly beautiful.

[EMF]

Jesus that was powerful. Such power within such a pulsing beat. It has left me angry and way beyond sad. Incredible work. I really don't know what to say, it has left me speechless

[rosemary keogh]

Wow this is quite sad but very powerfull. Really took me in. great work gone into this.

[daydreamer]

Good poem. depicts pain and helplessness very nicely. good work:)