Confessions of Fear

A Journey Into A Mature Respectful Loving Relationship after a lifetime of abuse

No longer afraid to love,

 but still afraid to show,

 all the weakness that I have,

 I'm afraid that you will go.

 I'm afraid that we are to young,

 that you won't want this fight,

 that I'm not worth all the trouble,

that I'm only good for fun ~in the dark at night.

I've never met anyone like you,

 and I'm not sure how to receive this love,

 this kindness, or this life you say you want with me.

 So I slip out of bed silently,

 hoping you dont see,

 the grimace on my face,

 as I pray quietly that my legs support me.

 I cry on the inside, not wanting you to know,

 how mad I am at myself,

 that I won't let you know.

 You're not the issue, my insecurity is,

 my secret friend I've held for far to long,

 she lives inside my head.

 Telling me I'm not good enough, nor will I ever be,

 not only does she insult me,

 but by saying that she also insults you for loving me.

 My past gave me my friend, long, long ago,

 and though I left my past I never let her go.

 My fear has been realized, and now I see why,

 a self fulfilling prophesy I have created,

 so I will be the one to cry.

 The one who cries and says, that all were wrong but me,

 I dont want to be right, turns out right,

 well its just lonely!

I Love You Baby,

 I dont want to run,

 or be scared anymore,

 I want you, if you'll have me.

From now untIl forever more.

 

Ursula Kay Vos 9/19/2011
Dedicated to "Jai"

Reviews

[Liza]

There's always something so attracting about the word confession; I feel as if I am being told the truth; so thank you for engaging us in it. The first two lines are what most can relate to and the irony of life; that we do seek to love but afraid to show it.

[EMF]

Beautiful. Honest, Painful but also full of hope. A wonderful poem. Passionatley written. Theres no point in critiquing it, because it doesn't matter. It's from the heart. That gives it perfection