Repeating Nightmares

I had just received some news that a certain person whom I hate with every being of my soul would be staying the night within the nest couple of days. I share a dark and painful past with this person

How many more times will I have to see your face 

And suppress the need need to tear it apart?

How many times have I uttered or heard your name

And shook in both anger and anguish?

There are times though

When I don't think about what you did

About how you reached into my chest

And tore my heart out and walked away

All with a smug smile on your face

But there are also times like now

When all these feeling I've been choking down

The hatred, ache, and barrenness that's been plaguing me

All come rushing back at once like vomit

I often think to myself

What I'd do if I were to see you again

Would I simply walk by

with eyes as cold as the ice around your heart?

Would I break apart like that night?

Would I let this burning rage seethe out of me?

What will I do?

Although I'm not exactly anxious to find out

I guess we'll have to wait and see