This Forsaken Soul

Alone I stand,

All alone,

Lonely with no one in this realm,

Nobody but me

 

Waiting for that day to come,

That day when someone enters this realm,

A day of comfort I will never forget,

The day I make a friend.

 

My home is a tortoise shell,

I always go hide there,

Alone,

In that old, dark, and empty gray shell.

 

This world,

This quiet world,

A world where nothing can live,

Nothing can pass through here,

Nothing but the dead.

 

Can you see them?

The souls of the dead?

There stone, transparent hearts,

The tears they cry?

 

 

Tears streak my face,

Why am I stuck here?

Why am I out of everyone to get stuck here?

In this realm of nothing…

This world of endless grey.

 

This forsaken place,

A place I wish I could leave someday.

Just waiting,

Waiting here at the hours minute,

Just waiting for that time to come.

 

 

Reviews

[Patricia]

I like this poem, it's a place we all can identify with. Waiting for some big amazing positive change to just happen, watching time pass us by. There are a couple edits though that interrupt the flow and few that don't but they are at your liking. But these two should be changed so it flows it better. I hope that helps a little, editing poems is the driest part of poetry but necessary. But the poem itself is good :) I love the word "realm" and "forsaken" good choices. :)

Can you see them?
The souls of the dead?
There stone, transparent hearts,.......Did you mean "Their or They're" in this line?
The tears they cry?

Why am I out of everyone to get stuck here?........This needs commas, and remove the word "the" like this "Why am I, out of everyone, stuck here?"