Maybe I'll Fall in Love with the Stars Instead

If I were to lose myself, I'd lose myself in the stars. I'd only fall deeper if I passed the reigns to you...

I see myself wrapped in your arms  In the endless dreams I’ve had of us.  But of course they’re just delusions and so  I withstand another night alone with the stars,  Imagining your warmth embracing me.  If I said that I wanted to see you,  Would you come to my rescue and pull me  Out of this hell they call unrequited love?  Of course not, since I’m no better myself  For keeping the words in my heart and finding  Ways to bury thoughts of you in every crevice of my mind.  But thinking of you won’t bring you to me,  And so I pass the night alone with the stars…again.

Author's Note

This was a poem originally for myself so I'm not looking for a lot of critique. I'd like to patch up my grammar and basically get a review on if you, as a reader, enjoyed it.

Reviews

[RiverRei]

My review? This is good and I can relate to it a lot but I think this would be better as a journal entry or a story rather than a poem. The flow doesn't work for me. I like the word choice and the descriptiveness of your writing, but doesn't read well as a poem to me. Keep writing though, I do hope to read more from you.

[Elisa]

I definitely enjoyed this, especially the voice you use in your writing. I can totally relate to this; you put into words the feelings I had for almost two years. Thank you so much for sharing this.

[A Hopeless Romantic]

I'm glad that you enjoyed this! To be honest, there is nothing I can relate to in this 'poem'. I'm twelve years old and I haven't once found "true love". I had crushes that I abandoned upon discovery, so I don't really know what hit me when I wrote this but I'm glad that other people can find it relatable!!