The Sea of Grey

This is the second piece I wrote for A Tainted Image, and the first of mine we actually ended up using. It was inspired by a flood I witnessed sometime in fall of 2006 a few weeks prior to its writing.

    Yesterday, I saw the sun set. Today there is no sun. Today the sun is buried, smothered, swallowed in a sea of grey. Today there is no light; the sky has devoured it. Will the sky seek to devour us as well? 

 

    And who would hold the sky at fault if it seeks our end?

 

    The  rains begin.   There is no sudden outpouring of the furies of Heaven.   Instead, the storm begins as a single drop, a plummeting messenger  whose  collision with our  windshield is a resounding  prophecy of  things to come.   Then his brothers follow, first but a few, then by the thousands, pummeling our protective box of metal and glass.   Then those furies are truly unleashed, hammering the earth before enveloping it completely.  Minutes pass as our vision is swallowed by the same grey that ate the sun.

    The roads are  rivers now,  pouring furiously  forth down their paths,  pouring into the  drains that  so ineptly try to drink them up.   Will we too be swallowed?  Have our crimes at last weighed so heavy upon the Overseer who has suffered them for so long... will He once again blot man from the face of the Earth,  so great is His sorrow for our being?   If so, I will not hold him at fault.  He's borne too much already. 

 

    ...but the rains subside.

    The sky to the east is black as night; the storm continues on its path.   But to the west stands a precursor to Heaven, as the sun pours out  over us, striking  through the  shards of  cloud the  storm has left  behind.   To the north  rests a colossal pillar of light, a vast prism  reflecting at once every color our petty  vision can perceive.   The oath stands,  ignoring our faithlessness.  

 

    We will live another day.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism welcome.

Reviews

[Louise Whalen]

I think this is best received with music, but this is still an excellent piece.

Your imagery is descriptive, very concrete, and unique. The flow is good. I like the journey of the poem, and I love your ending line. I'm a sucker for good ending lines.

I really enjoy it, to say the least.

[Niki Disaster]

I have never experienced such a severe natural act, my weather stays rather neutral.
I found it to be very well written, it flowed smoothly and your use of particular adjectives and adverbs made this angry storm sound like a beautiful thing. I really like this line "The oath stands, ignoring our faithlessness."
Reading it actually provoked a lot of interesting thoughts in my mind, so I definitely appreciate the inspiration. It just goes to show that we often over look amazing things to inspire us, or we write on a particular subject in the wrong form. ...Niki D.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

What a beautiful and melancholic tale at the same time. I have survived storms like this - the most frightening of all is being in the car at the time. You captured the essence of this storm and flood very well. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha