Angels

Watch the desolate angels

Plummit to the pavement in utter despair

Cuz you broke my head

And It'll never end

Let the pen break

Let the ink explode

Reviews

[(Super) Heroes Never Di..]

I think the word "cuz" takes away from the piece. I'd replace it with either 'because' or just cause. I think the affect would be much better if there wasn't that distraction.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this piece.

[eglantine]

Nice--I do suggest making the second to last line "break the pen / let the ink explode" it makes it a more present action--a more powerful way of saying what you want to say.

[Dayran]

The expression ' broke my head ' often refers to the domestication of a wild and untamed thinking. In many instances that's an important quality but in our societies these days, it gets broken by the practice of society's civility.

Get a cabin in the woods and you may recover the experience.

[Coyote Poetry]

Great vision create by your words. When the desolate angles fall. The ink will gain life and story. I like the strength in the poem. You used the words with skill to make your point in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote