Stars

I never should have looked at myself

Am I alive?

A pretentious b*****d is what I am

Man has never been as deranged as I

In spite of all I’ve tried to do right

Love has cut me so deeply

With every scar I’ve grown a tenfold stronger

The sun sets and I feel my eclipse approaching

Setting without a glimpse of mercy

Stars guide me in my everlasting darkness

Reviews

[stars are far]

That was expressing .. you did a great work here
keep it up :D

[Dayran]

When love is viewed as all, it is bound to produce the most whimsical turns in our affairs. But there's more....and if we stay to understand its ways and make the effort to steady its early experience of itself, we are quite often astounded at its responses. Certainly at a teen level one would expect a certain anxiety in the responses of youth.....a little unsure and unsafe....but its where you start to make the difference.

[afra]

great i love it ...well done

[eglantine]

beautifully done, great celestial internal force.

[Helen Crutchett]

Wonderfully heartfelt write for Tovli's Ten Contest. Thank you for submitting your poem.


"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger".
Nietzsche, Friedrich

[Who Cares]

I used the same second line, in one of my pieces for this contest actually. Wow, actually it is like we were thingking the same thing. Kinda crazy, well. I am not going to post mine for sure now. Good luck, I did however post mine on my wall, if you are curious,

[Coyote Poetry]

A very interesting poem. Stars and sadness. I like the way you led the reader into sadness and disappointment. A perfect ending to the excellent poetry.
Coyote