Chapter 1 : starting

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The Start
Chapter 1:
"The only thing I remembered was when they were killed." I whispered to Red. I thought this was the end of us, but she told me "we will avenge the others and we will show them who's best." I looked everywhere, to see if anyone was here. We heard a strange loud voice. I freaked out, the voice was telling us "your next." The voice sounded familiar, it sounds like the man that was killed an hour ago, why do I think it's his soul? "Its getting too creepy lets just leave." I whisper. When i said that I heard a cat's purr. I yelled "DUDE, STOP SCARING ME!" The place started moving. So I ran out the place, I couldn't look behind, I am out of that dark room, but... where is Red? I look around me and she stands there. I can't stop staring at my hand when Red came out of there, so fast! She walked into a wall, That was when I remembered we are the ones who are dead, and they are all alive. well, I hesitated, " The guy that was murdered, was actually brought back to life by the Angels, how did he have the courage to talk to The Sin Angles." "Why do you always forget that we are dead? Ugh, By the way there is a handsome guy that was just crowned, you can go see him, I think he is your kind."
"I don't want to get in a relationship, we are ghosts, that was back in the days."
I remembered that there was one way to become alive again which was to go to "The Temple Of Belief" and to go there impossible things need to be done. "I miss being alive, I miss being a kid, it wasn't my fault that I died in an accident however, my parents are with me here, can you help me go to the temple of belief?" "Are you kidding it is simply impossible? You will never get there safely, There are things to do and have before you go, you need to have the courage to ask The Sin Angle about going back to life, you have to have dignity, kindness and some kind of evilness in your heart, so you shouldn't be perfect, you will need supplies to go their, there are spirits in the way, evil things around the way." Said Red, I thought that the voice of the person in that room, was here, he isn't actually a person, he is a renga, renga's are creatures that want to get everyone creeped out and they basically created hate everywhere, which made them the worst and most dangerous creation in the whole entire universe. And they were found around the way to The Temple. I live in a small dark underground basement, like anyone else, it supplied a bedroom and a small study room with a tiny kitchen, and a huge bathroom, though the bathroom was the biggest room, we didn't know what to do with so much space. But then the people who obeyed and respected other people had a mansion really. These people are the well people they had a name which was "vermicelli's" which meant sprinkles in french, because when you think of sprinkles you think of something good, thats what The Sin Angel said and his companion The Crystal Demon, though they were enemies, they showed everyone that Love can do anything, their fathers were the rulers of the underworld, which made them become friends. We can date in this world but the problem is there is no love to be spread, love is only for the Vermicelli's, while us we couldn't, me when I was alive, I was a rebel at school, though I was just a teenager, I don't know how me and Red came here, Its so unfair I always think of that. But I really wanted to go back alive just to see everyone's reactions. (Rewind to 1 month) Red was in the car with me and my family, we got in a car accident, my younger sister survived, we didn't, I want to go back to see her I miss her so much, Me, Red, My Parents, should be alive.(Back to the story) It just makes me feel so sad. I got shivers down my spine, as I thought of going back. I got a small meeting with my family, and Red and asked them to come to the earth again. "If we go to The Temple Of Belief, they will let us go back to earth. We shouldn't be here, it was an accident that we got here, right? Like you guys wanna see your daughter, and Red wants to see her Parents, so why not try, you know we can go don't you?" My Mother replied: " 1, we can go but, its really rare to get back to earth and being alive." I said: " Can't we at least try?" My father : " Umm, Isn't it too dangerous?" I replied: " If you have hope, and believe that everything is possible, its not! So are you guys with me?" My parents said:" we will stay here and if you reach the earth teleport us." "Umm, No, come with me." Red thought its crazy but agreed, my parents didn't have faith, but I did, so they came, lets start The Journey of The Start! Here we come.
We created a plan for everyone, so my mom was the one that cooked and baked food, since she is really good at cooking, I planned the trip and map, so I lead the way, my father was the one that had some clothes, blankets and some supplies for the trip. Red was always interested in writing so she wrote things about the trip and she also took pictures. We started off by going beside our basements, to the market beside us. Things weren't colorful like today, we saw things in brown and white, and some black things, having something colorful is rare. Since I am a renga, yes I am, if I was a vermicelli I would be so happy and would stayed not leave. I would have so many privileges that are better than being a human, like wishing whatever you want and you will have it, its so good! When we reached the Market we bought extra supplies and bags, then we went to the Der Volcano, its a volcano that was basically huge, we had to climb it up, since we are ghosts we could float! Which was much easier than walking! So we went to the top and we found another Renga family, they also wanted to go to the temple, the family's name was The Sesor Family, they were one of the most hated families on earth! They stole banks kidnapped people and did everything bad, this family is made up of a mom , a dad and a brother and a sister. And they are the meaning of death. We reached the top, and then the volcano was shaking, the ground was so shaky, we couldn't float, we had to fly, thank goodness my father got his flying boards, and gave each of us one, so we flew with them.

Reviews

[Yazeed-kun]

it's a nice concept, but I noticed a few punctuation and grammar mistakes, and it was confusing to read because it was a mix of informal and formal writing