I wrote this because I am an insufferable b*****d

experimental free-verse poem

We’re all chasing that high,

the high of bubbly beautiful smiles crystallized

together,

hand-in-hand,

my happiness is your happiness,

it occurs to me that I am chasing you

‘round and around a jungle gym,

smiling, full of laughter,

loud rhythmic breaths that seem

to disturb the trees brief with wind

rustling rustling and rustling.

so child-like

yet not-so-innocent

my heart beating with

such a guilty resonance

affluttered and soared,

anguish and the eye of the storm

and who is this person whom I adore?

I don't know,

I’ll never know,

so I look at you from afar

with such tender and sweeping care

I’m sorry,

I don't mean to stare -

each contact our eyes make sends my heart pounding

even more more and more.

you poke your head

through the monkey bars

and now you are gazing back at me,

our eyes interconnected

as two beams of introspection

cascading on each other,

suddenly, without much notice,

your body breaks away with the wind

and flows as tiny particles

in myriads of dust

dancing and swaying together

in choreography

so scenic and subtle,

you’re off to move the trees and the tides,

off and away,

but I don't know what you’ll find.

and no i never said anything

in the hopes that you would stay,

I’ll count my words in what I don't say,

maybe it’s what I don't say

that says everything in the first place.

so travel far,

far and away from here,

so I can move on to my next dear

and chase that high we’re all looking for -

of innocence, ignorance, love, and learning.

maybe one day I’ll disintegrate into a mosaic,

dissolving into ash and pastry white-warm liquid

in a myriad of rosie-cheek blushed bodily fluid

that seeps and flows through the rivers

just as you flow through the wind

but I know I can never be as majestic as you.

I don't know where to begin,

as you’re of the mercy of the wind

I guess I'll just sit here

never-ever content.

Author's Note

This an experimental free-verse poem. I don't quite have an identity as a writer. I guess I borrow the punctuation and general formatting from Beat poets and Charles Bukowski. Please feel free to criticize, because I'm not exactly proud of this and I would like to build as a writer. Thanks