A light

This light that sleeps within my head

Prevents me from speaking out against

The evils that I know exist among

The goodness of this world.

 

And these lights that shine upon my back

From stars and suns and crescent moons

Prevent me from calling out

When you're screaming as you attack.

 

And these clouds that hang over my head

Eclipse any glistening halos that I may have

Mounted on the ends of these horns

Red and fiery like the (under)wolrd they came from.

 

And these clouds amplify

Sullen eyes and wrinkled brows

With shadows that waltz

(One, two, three, one, two, three) with my sorrows

 

And this fire that burns within my heart

Is very near snuffed out from lack of kindling

And my bones must serve as twings to ignite

The flames that lick the walls of inspiration

 

And this fire surrounds me

In a ring of isolation

And ensnares all creative energy

In a cage of frenetic lunacy

 

And in this infermo my ashes don't disintegrate

And my melting body does not renew

Instead the westerly winds carry me off

Across lands untouched and oceans wild and blue

Reviews

[Alessander]

This poem has a very cosmic new-age feel to it. For some reason, I kept thinking of auras encircling people. You do a good job of remaining consistent with the theme and tone by sticking to elemental imagery like moons, clouds, fire, shadows. I really like the stanza when the fire meets the bones - I wanted more of those types of imagery and stanza throughout because sometimes the poem gets a bit TOO abstract in places and I'm left with just a bunch of detached nouns. Also, the places with parenthesis confused me.
Well, that's all I got. Keep on trucking.

[Chelsea Schermerhorn]

Once again, very nice. I like the diction and organization of this piece, as well as the imagery provided. I like the concept and depth, yet again, and appreciate your entry into the Any and All Poetry Contest. You have again made it into the first cut of finalists.