heartfelt pain

Do i fight for what i want?
Though it is not mine to keep?
Dare i speak the thoughts that torment my mind?
Let there be a sign...
Confusion, anger and frustration
racking my brain
trying desperately to find a release.
All i want is peace.

I want to know everything, 
Even the facts that would make me cry.
I want to know everything,
Including rejection’s "why".

The cold seeps through my skin and to my bones,
Chilling me from the inside.
My heart is frozen over,
By cold waves that wont subside.

The man at the 9th gate is waiting,
Knowing of my coming,
Standing there laughing,
Telling me that my resistance is useless.
Dare I tell him I refuse this?

Falling,
Down and down till i can no longer breath,
Lungs on fire,
Yet frozen by the cold that seethes.

The thought of his touch warms me, 
From my heart on out,
Then I remember the pain,
The red he made me see.

Eternal torment 
Body and mind,
Until all things end,
Eternally my torment.