Imagination

A Story by taha khandwani

Something to think

I sat in this luke warm chair with mildly cold breeze brushing my forearm raising the hair on my hands, thinking whom shall I be? Shall I be me who my family members know to be? Or am I more true to the person who is out in the world?
To answer the above question I need to know for who I am….
Lets explore:
1. Gender (doesn’t ans. The question)
2. Age (relevant to a certain extent {to set an impression or not, another words am I satisfied in my own skin or not}
3. Surroundings {yes, it helps; surroundings shape a person, not knowingly we see world through others eyes and judge them rather than judges oneself. Judging is strong word, though we all judge then we perceive as to what shall be done and then analyze the consequence and outcome before taking any action or reaction.
4. Circumstance: true, true, let’s explore the story of D; funny, happy go lucky D was cursing in his life when due to financial crisis the behaviour of D changed and happy D turned into DD (depressed D).

While all this rushing through my mind, I observed that all I can see is a lawn chair on which I am and that is it, everything else is white with a hint of orange spread across the horizon in reference to my chair. I still felt the wind through the back of my neck, and my hand was getting a bit heavy, I looked down and saw a neat glass of molten lava.
Going back to the question while sipping lava I thought to myself, how lucky I am that I can think like this while at the same time think of her and how she reminds me of so much myself at that age, arrogant, self-righteous, determined and know-it-all; that being said, honest, loving, caring and willful of what she thinks is right with the limited knowledge she has. If I go forward in time will I not see her as I am today, in comparison to future me who is more likely to be my own father? The way he acts, talks, reacts, a little needy of fatherly love, but then we all need love of some kind.
While thinking, one more thought came into mind, actually a memory. I was young some 16 yrs back in junior high, short school day due to results and I remember being sad because I received my report of failing and would get my report unless my father sign for it. I was disheartened and hurt, not for failing, rather that they refuse to hand me MY report. I waited 2 hrs until my father arrive and I ran crying to him. Crying not because I fail but I was upsat because they refused to hand me the report card. For that brief moment when I hugged my father I felt a great relief. As I sat here in the emptiness of myself I realized that the way others treat us defines us to our-self. In the world of our small community of some 7 biilion people (amount that can be fitted on one continent in only one hemisphere) we forget that people whom are unknown to us or those with whom we do not share our daily moments are also people too. In order to elaborate my point; one day while driving and standing at the red light, cursing because of road rage so I scanned the car to my right, I suddenly realized that the person who is driving is the same person as I am. He might have family, think the same way I do or maybe in some perceived parallel universe a version of my own-self. With all those thoughts am I right to think that we all are one part of same universe, working for same reasons as everyone else. Now clearly, ae are not all same, we are unique individuals who are conscious and yet I argue that base coding I the same, we got same malice, greed, keenness, drive, curiosity and goodness that make us humans, gender has no significance what so ever.