Picture Perfect Dream

A young couple just some years after the got married. Depicting romance even after marriage.

She wakes up each morning with a peaceful yawn

To the man of her dreams

But sometimes it feels like a nightmare

Because things are never what they seem

 

She stares each day at the frame

The snowy dress and golden ring

They seemed so happy and blissful

Like a picture-perfect dream

 

Once you get to know a man

Things always will change

Going from dating to marriage

Is all so incredibly insane

 

But even though it’s hard

Those moments really get her

When she straightens his red tie

And they kiss in the rain together

 

Nothing’s a picture-perfect dream

But it can be pretty darn close

Cause even though there are horrible moments,

They cherish the good ones the most.

 

Author's Note

I went on a crazy writing frenzy and wrote like four unedited poems, so just tell me what you think and what needs to be edited. (so the next three poems I publish were part of the writing frenzy)

Reviews

[Owlgirl]

Great job! In the little "about" thingy at the top I think it should be "they" got married, but other than that, it's amazing! It's sweet and somber yet happy and fun! Well written, smooth flow!

[Ink Angel]

A brillaint write perfect in evry way, can relate to this. thanks for sharing

[Ramya]

I think this is brilliant! Nothing needs to be edited, it is as good as it is!! Love the last stanza, especially the last two lines....great work!!

[The Scholar]

Ahhh... this is such an amazing write. I, of course, am not yet married, but I believe this would be exactly the kind of relationship I would like to have. Life is hard and troubles arise, but when you're truly in love, even the little things bring you closer together and remind you of that love.

I love the lines:

But even though it’s hard
Those moments really get her
When she straightens his red tie
And they kiss in the rain together

They are so simple and so elegant at the same time. I think this is one of my favorites of yours. :)


P.S. I love your photo -- it's the cutest thing ever!

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Forgive this personal reference (stands and clears throat).
I am continually taken aback by the talent some of you young writers possess! It is absolutely wonderful!
There is a part of me that is so saddened that so many of my own years were wasted in fear of scoffing or criticism from those whose opinions I never should have considered. Bravo for you!
In my opinion, when someone your age attempts to write about this subject matter it can ring a bit wrong to an "old" woman such as I am. On the contrary here, you have penned with an insight into what commitment is really all about.
Your lines:
"She stares each day at the frame
The snowy dress and golden ring
They seemed so happy and blissful
Like a picture-perfect dream"
and
"Nothing’s a picture-perfect dream
But it can be pretty darn close
Cause even though there are horrible moments,
They cherish the good ones the most." reflect this insight well

Good job!

[eeoopig]

Nice poem. The last paragraph ties up the rest of the poem well :) I thought it'd be one of those depressing break-up ones, but its more of a life poem. The words are so true, as you do have your good and bad moments (I'm not married, but it's true in just that context, I have my great days and my terrible ones). You weren't joking when you said you went on a crazy writing frenzy :0 ha ha I'm off to read you other poems now XD wonderful work!

[Pax]

beautiful, nice story. keep it up

[Coyote Poetry]

The words are true in the poem. When you live with someone. You see the weaknesses of the other person. Marriage is hard. People hide things and they appear after the honeymoon. I did like the ending. Need to find the good things to keep a marriage strong. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[emman]

I like the last stanza :) nice!

[Cathy Wattam]

I love the standard of your writing frenzy. An enjoyable poem. Only one suggestion for you:-

"She wakes up each morning with a peaceful yawn
Beside the man of her dreams".

Just a thought......

Keep on writing, frenzy or otherwise!