Numb to the Pain

This is a song turned into a poem, the song has much more words.

It all came crashing down so quickly

Her mind was going crazy

No one ever asked

If she even ever agreed

It was all out of her control

Her father drowning in alcohol

Then the knife came down

 

And the      blood     came out

 

First she tried to cut,

Next, she didn’t know what

 

Her heart breaks everyday

But it doesn’t hurt when they sting

Because she is numb to the pain

 

It felt like it was good enough

To just toss away the sorrow

But everyday her core

Would get more and more hollow

 

She couldn’t take it

It was impossible to live

Tears fell into the water

As she edged over the bridge

 

The first time in a lifetime

She got down and started to pray

She said ‘God, don’t just numb my pain’

Take    

It   

All     

Away

Amen

 

Author's Note

So, I was thinking this should be more of a short story, but I wrote it as a poem first. BE CRITICAL. please,please,please be critical. I put my poems on here to get better!!! :-)
Love all ya'll.

Reviews

[Ink Angel]

Love the use of differnt font, and ending is brilliant, a wondefful heartfelt write. Thankyou

[MusicLover]

I like how the major themes on how teens feel is in the larger font. The entire theme is in my opinon a teen who has been troubled and is just now releasing their pain and emotions. I feel this way sometimes and by reading this, in a way it soothed me. Well done and an amazing write. This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo going in my library


Keep up the amazing work Underestimated. :)

[eeoopig]

oww this is sooo sad :'(. Good job, you made me really feel this poem - how can I be critical to this? I just can't, its so lovely and perfect, excellent job

[Pax]

so sad and lonely poem, i like the way all the letters from small to big size. Its true that when you suffer pain almost everyday it gets numb day by day until your hollow. good write my friend, enjoyed it.

[Ashley Lynn]

This is beautifully written, sad, but well written. I enjoy what you did with the font and I love how it tells a story.

[emman]

Hey nice poem..I haven't written poems like this..so sad..sometimes alarming..

[Cathy Wattam]

Whoa. I'd like to be critical, but actually, I can't. There is nothing here to criticise. It is very good, I don't even mind the fonts and layout. I enjoyed it. This could definitely be expanded upon and does have a feel of a song about it. Nice work.