Green Leaves

Based on the rhythm of Greensleeves, a traditional English song. Written with a hint of traditional English pronoun to keep the mood, and refers of course to the nature of the pirate wandering from land to land. It's a metaphor for relationships.

Alas, my love, I've done thee wrong
To cast off from thy empty land;
And here I wander, just a man,
Who knows naught but the open sea.

I've left thee barren, fruitless ground;
Thin and worn and hard to please.
I've quarried stone and felled thy trees,
And stolen water for my tea.

Under heaven's watchful eye
I vowed to stay through good and bad;
But though, my love, it makes me sad,
I've set to find the greener leaves.

Thou'st given all there was to give,
And I carry all I've had to take;
With sighs of love thy branches shake,
A wordly love that has no key.

Alas, my love, I've done thee wrong,
To cast off from thy empty land;
And here I wander, just a man,
Swallowed by the endless sea.

Reviews

[Judy Ponceby]

Beautifully written :)

[Mai Aliza]

Lovely, just lovely.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

nice mental imagery

[[untitled]]

This was great! I loved the picture painted with your words. Also, Green Sleeves is one of my favorite songs. I like how you modernized it.

[Dark Daughters]

This was another wonderful piece, it flowed nicely to the rhythm of Green Sleeves.
~Darkness~

[David Salinger]

Great work. I could never write anything of this sort, so I applaud anyone who can...

[A.r. Bazian]

he rides for fate...
he rides for more...
he accepts his end...
and wills no more...
how wide can time come...
all around wider than the sea...
to be so heavenly purposed...
and just accept his fate?
time... i could understand the endless spread of time...
his life... he knows its gonna end soon...
and he has had enough....
damn this is deep...

good work!
really good work!

[Jocelyn Elizabeth]

Mmm. This is beautiful in a sad sort of way. It kind of reminds me of my ex. He always wanted me to by him stuff, video games and systems. (Now he works at gamestop, how perfect.) And when we split he told me that he loved me, but still had to leave. And the sea in your story, I would imagine that to be his new girlfriend. Besides the fact that she's fat and could definately swallow him... he was drawn to her in my absence. And goodness... I just read the description. I got it right, how awsome is that?? I thought maybe I was looking too deep into your words, apparently not.

I like this. Nice work.

[Angelus Sancti]

Aww, I like this. It's a nice.. contrast to the original, sorta the other side of the coin. You write so prettyishly. :P Yes, I made a new word just for you.