Moonlight Frost

For a lost love.

If I had a single penny
For every thought of you,
I'd pour them in a wishing well,
And ask that they come true.

Then I'd lay me down to sleep
On pillows made of rain,
And ask that every drop of it
Would take away your pain.

And when I close my eyes tonight,
I'll touch the moonlight frost.
And I will ask that I can see
The angel that I lost.

Your smile wrapped in emerald leaves
Drifting in my dreams,
As you dance across the starlit lake;
A spirit always free.

But for some things I'd never wish,
Like to clip your graceful wings
So you can feel the winter's cold,
And the sorrow that it brings.

With moonlight frost upon your heels,
And upon your lips and hair,
You sway beneath the midnight breeze;
A feather in the air.

Yet, your fragile feet can't touch this ground
In fear that you might break.
So, I'll hold you tight with arms of glass
Upon this silver lake.

And swans will circle under us;
A thousand snowflake hearts.
And for a minute it is gone--
The reason we're apart.

But now the waking dawn has come
To melt your ghost of frost.
So sleep within the moonlight, love--
The angel that I lost.

Reviews

[~crazy Beautiful~]

i love this one
the feeling
the visuals
the way you use your words
love it
my favorite lines
"Then I'd lay me down to sleep
On pillows made of rain,
And ask that every drop of it
Would take away your pain. "
very creative poetry
thank you for entering my contest

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Such a beautiful piece that speaks of unconditional love... even when we lose them physically they forever remain a part of our life.

[James Takeo Panton]

This has some beautiful imagery portrayed through velvety words.....I love it!

[Dark Daughters]

This was a lovely, heart wrenching poem, I loved the visuals and the flow was beautiful. Wonderful poem!
~Darkness~

[curley]

This is almost too perfectly to describe what I feel. Very, very well written. Thanks for sharing! God bless.

[[untitled]]

this is beautiful

[SweetPeachesAlways]

For me, your first three stanzas are totally EXQUISITE...absolutely stunningly perfect. Seriously, it was all good but those first three blew my doors off! Great write!

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

I absolutely loved this one. The rhyme was wonderful and the flow was brilliant. I honestly kept waiting for the other shoe to fall. (Whatever that means). But you kept that rythm throughout the whole poem. It was very nice.

I did find one typo...
You left the 'f' out of graceful.
"Like to clip your graceul wings "

Thank you for sharing,
Love All, Mejasha

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is just lovely lovely lovely lovely

"But for some things I'd never wish,
Like to clip your graceul wings"

how sweet is that

"And swans will circle under us;
A thousand snowflake hearts.
And for a minute it is gone--
The reason we're apart. "

my oh my.

i wish i could give something more constructive, but it is what it is. the flow is great, the images are great, the rhyme scheme works wonderfully.

lovely

[A.r. Bazian]

i dont know what to say!
i dont!

let me... or more appropriately, allow me to comment:
your techniques are wonderful
your choice of words and diction are deep, and powerful...

please do not judge me by my age...
but only 3 ppl touched me that way...
one of them is me...
oh, and i had my price to pay...
many paid with sorrow...
but you... u have everything it takes!
you're strong... and u'r in love...
such combination... i can only say...
he/she has such luck... may he/she rest in peace!
amazing!

[Baby Boy]

Wow! Do you see what I mean! Your words just move people somuch! It certaintly does me! This is beautiful yet sad at the same time! You are brilliant with your writing and the rhyming is perfect! I love it! Great write sweetie! You're awesome! One luv gurl! :)