An Invitation

I was inspired with this picture...

Why thy soul should die?
Is the death smell so sweet for you
Or you think it's your duty to do

I say the words,you're afraid to say
Because I can see another way
We can fall,and never get up
But say me do you want to find glory or not

It's hard to teach, yet it's hard to learn
But I can feel how your body burns
And underneath the naive surface
A real seeker hides his dark face

So join me and you're never regret
And your jaws of red liquid will always be wet
So join me and you'll be young forever

And you shall never die

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems

Reviews

[Muse]

I love the bloody thought process that inspired this. But sweetie you must care about grammar...it can make or break a wonderful writing. You can break many rules in poetry...but grammar cannot be ignored. How to fix this...read it out loud to yourself...I must do this several times with each and every poem I compose. If it doesn't sound right...try another word. For example you can fix the last line just by leaving out a word:
And you will shall die never

"leave out the word will"

And you shall never die...or...you too, shall never die.

[Muse]

happy to see you took my advice..

high scores!

Muse

[Lily Mae]

I love this dark seedy write.. Wow... and the picture is perfect also..xo

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Very Nice!..I like the format of this Dark dramatic piece... I agree with Muse... taking a few minutes to review your work before posting it, is essential to the final process. You have something special here, and I believe this can be Magnificent. :)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Chilling and haunting a poetic tale, Great write!

[Blue Ivory]

Woah. That's all I can say. I had NO IDEA you could write like this! Omg! It is so awesome! And you know they made this picture to mock twilight. I am so proud of you for writing this! =') It's beautiful. And it has that chill factor I' always looking for in writing.

[Secret Lullaby]

well i loved this,i think you did a really good job.There were a few mistakes but thats ok....i make them a lot sometimes but this is still a great poem...I also watch the this show and im addicted to it and when i read this it made me think of stephen and Klause.