Matris litteris

Chapter 3

(Night sky^)

Pulling up the folded over section of the envelope I slowly took out the paper hidden within it. The paper seemed old, It appeared so frail, but was sturdy all the same. Like when you look at a tea stain paper dried or when you just rub it lightly with a few coffee grounds. The paper seems to inanimate the feeling of the past. I could feel that this letter's age was not what it looked but still held age from the time I'd had since my mother's death. I'm sure that this appearance was simply from its age and effects of time.

Upon looking at the paper it read,

"Dear Akira,

I'm guessing you found this book looking through my study. Did you find any good books? Ones that you like or think you'll enjoy? Okay, okay I'll be good and get to the point of this letter, after all, I can't write you a book of useless talking."

In this joking manner that my mom wrote reminding me of the way she was, always full of laughter, joy, and jokes. This attitude that she'd had always seemed to help bring it out in everyone around her, even until the very end. 

"All joking aside, I know I'm very sick... I know that my time is soon to come." 

My eyes started to swell up slightly with water, wanting to break the seal of my lid. She used to always say she'd kick it that it wasn't her time yet, that she still had to be there to let us know how much she loved us. Never once did she give up and here she was saying she knew the whole time that she was going to die. My mom had come to pass with it and had given up. That was something I just couldn't fathom. 

"And because of that I'm going to leave you with a final question, this is the one that my mom had given me. I've never been able to answer it. I tried for years, then I meant your father... He swept me off my feet. I forgot it until about a week ago remembering that I hadn't found it and now I was going to die without ever getting my chance to know.

 I sorry to be such a bad mother by passing a burden that I had been selfish and not done, to you. I hope you can forgive me for my actions. The book that you found this letter in was the only clue to my mother's question that I was able to gather before meeting your father.

 So it's the only clue I can leave you. If you do continue on this quest to find out the answer to my mother's question, please be careful, the world though beautiful and full of life is also very dangerous and can hurt you. So watch your back. People are not always what they say they are, keep all of this in mind.

 This is my burden, so if you choose not to do it that is fine. If you choose to set your own path to make your own life I will not stop you. I leave you now with a final fair well. I love you so much my child, more then you could and will ever know. Thank you for all the years of love and happiness you've given me. I'm proud of you and know whatever you do will change the world. 

You're amazing and beautiful, let the world know it, and don't let them forget it, ever. So go change the world

~Your proud and loving Mother"

Lifting my gaze from the stained paper to the horizon-line the time seemed to change from the point it was when I started to read. The sun had gone farther down, it was now almost ducking behind the hills completely in the distance behind me. I shook my head slightly and batted my eyes a few times refusing to cry. I'd cried my tears for my mom and I'm not going to let anymore fall. The batting seemed to help and they slowly reseeded back into my eyes disappearing without a trace.

 After all, I know she is happy where she is. This question wasn't mine and mine alone it was her's too. Meaning this isn't just a curiosity question but a favor, the final favor my mother asked me. I wasn't going to let my mother's question and her mother's question before her, continued to go unanswered. If I answer this it will be a final thing I can do for her to help her rest in complete peace. Getting up I'm going to walk toward the outskirts of town, I have a long way to go to get to the plains. I have to go through the barren and harsh dessert. I'm planning to start my search there. 

I've probably been on the move for about three hours so I'll have to rest soon. I mostly don't know completely where I am but I'm sure that I'm making good progress by now. But it doesn't matter after all there really isn't an exact direction I'm heading just an area I'm searching for.

*Hours later*

The sun, now has gone down reseeding into the other half of the world. Sleep began to call to me desperately. It seemed to have something to tell, that its importance was more than all others. Letting its sweet mistress flow over me. I sir came to the idea, lying down atop the grass that grew from the bottom of a beautify tall and strong, motherly like willow tree that stood tall in the midst of the barren place I'd come too. All that could be seen for miles was small bushes off in the distance. I don't quite know where in the sense that I had been lost for quite some time. Closing my eyes in the peaceful lull I can feel the cold air surrounding me. Lifting up a finger slightly I can almost grasp the darkness within my hand. Nothingness seems to overwhelm the air. 

Upon reopening my eyes again, I saw the most brilliant light making the darkness disintegrate from my vision. Thousand, no millions of stars seem to swirl among themselves. Its blue-purple vibrancy seemed to ignite in my eyes. The each looked like small suns, with their bright luminescence. They seemed to cover every inch of the sky. Filling it with beauty beyond compare. Each twinkle had it's own unique shine to it. That entailed it to its own self-righteousness. The sky was so well composed that it seemed more like a work of art that the sky. I looked at each part by itself, then as a collective. As I scanned it I searched for patterns, shapes, figures, and picture within it. Find quite a few, I saw a bear and it's cub. I saw a pair, two girls running through a meadow and falling down atop each other laughing. For some reason unknown to me, this sight made me smile. I saw a ship sailing the oceans of the sky with pirates aboard, looking as free as possible. I saw below them many creatures of the sea. They fought fiercely against the monster after their ship.  It was as If a story unfolded right in front of my eyes. I could do nothing but watch until it faded away and another appeared.

 Looking around at them all, I lost myself. The stars consumed me entirely. I was mesmerized by this image. The stars took me to another world, another life. But now a new picture faded into view something of which looked familiar.  I saw my mother, she was happy, play-no... she was dancing, in the wind with the flowers of a colorful meadow brushing up against her legs gently, almost like a sweet loving hug. She smiled at me and gave a gentle wave.  Her face looked so lively, it hadn't looked like that since before she'd gotten sick. The pink completion she had was that of the person at pure peace. She then spun around again going back to the dance with the meadow and the wind which both held her so dear.

 She seemed content, like she had every time I'd seen her doing something she loved. Her eyes bright with joy and life. The skin she wore so fresh with a pinkish glow. Tips of her fingers laced themselves in between the blades of grass and flower stems. The breeze called to the rest of the meadow like a sweet lullaby.  

Soon this picture faded as well into the night sky and she disappeared from my vision. The dark of night came back into my gaze, stars still shown semi-bright, though faded themselves now. The show they were putting on had come to an end and they headed toward sleep now. My body calls to restful dream of unconsciousness right along with them. I let myself be enclosed in the blades of grass that lay residence below the tree. The grass growing lightly from the ground on my sides. The tree that stood tall and sturdy by my side seemed on to blend with the site of the stars to my conscious mind. I wasn't ready for sleep. I'd never truly seen the sky look like it had before. The brush breeze that blew softly over me made for a gratifying nights sleep. I blankly stared at the sky smiling for seeing such a beautiful sight of nature. Soon the peace of darkness and low light of the night sky's little performers pulled me into slumber. I closed my eyes. Night taking me to a place I could only see in my dreams.  

 I let it take to where I wanted to be most, in the past. The memories of what had come and long since gone showed me something I desperately wished to wake up to. The past's  hold on me held me tightly gripping more and more everytime I got myself, making me wish that wakefulness would never come back to my optical spheres. Not long after it had come did it slip away once more, darkness swallowing me deeper and deeper into it's black. The overwhelming striking sense of danger came to me now, like I was falling slowing. My body fills the surge that can only be accompanied with falling. 

The flow of blood to my arms had lowered, the feeling of needles and numbness in my limbs and the top half of my torso shared this feeling as well. It was like I was sliding.  Sliding? Sliding off of what?... My body tilted more and more as time grew on. I could feel myself hanging there suspended off of what seemed to be a cliff, of my mind. Not long after this feeling settled in did something collided with my face, not in a painful manner but with enough force to wake me.

 Opening my eyes up with subtly makes it obvious what had fallen on me, It was a leaf from the tree stretching out above me. My arm... It feels... numb. Looking over at it in suspicion I can see that it is laying across an and edge of a cliff. One, I am sure, was not there before. Curiosity overwhelming me I turn around inching over to see what was below in the crevous that was now made beside me. Lava, Tons and tons of it lay beneath, miles down. Bushes hung from the side, as if for dear life as to not fall but knowing the way of the world it would only be a matter of time below gravity force it to succumb to its will.  Besides it not that far away stuck out three thick what looked like metal bars sticking out of the side, unsure what it was I passed over it and gave it no more regard than I already have. The cracks in the terrain weren't that long, it had to be no less than 6 miles long though and at least three miles wide. There is no way across, which meaning I am now forced to go all the way around it to continue on my way.  And with lava flowing furiously below the chasm, I don't plan to try. Staring at it I can see it splashing against the surrounding rock and itself. Making me think suddenly about how much life this crack had probably taken and what would have become of me if that leaf hadn't woken me up. Would I have fallen into the crack heading for certain death, or could I have just laid there till I'd woken up naturally perfectly safe? I not quite sure witch one the thousands of scenarios going through my head now, would have been the one that happened to me if not for that tree. Shaking my head vigorous I snap the thought away,  just being thankful to not have had any of those come to be the circumstances I would have found myself in. 

Picking up my stuff, grabbing it all, my eyes wandered over to a small daisy growing at the base of the tree. It's beauty capturing my eye and daring me to pick it. Doing so I place it behind my ear in a place of highlight and appreciation. With this, I place my hand on the bark of the tree which provided me a peaceful and cool sleep, probably even saved my life in the end. Knowing that if this ground were to fall this tree would certainly die, I thank it and lay my head on the trunk giving it one last final goodbye. Then I look up smiling at it kindly and move my feet starting back to my journey, not giving any more thought or emotion to the unexpected detour that I'm taking to get around the crack.  As I walk I tend to think more and more about the crack and the how it could have come about overnight as I slept.  

Author's Note

(Picture above is another of Akira)