Pastor's Spouse

a former classmate finds monsters ends up becoming one by hiding behind a faith in God to do it. Guard my tongue, zitto già cagna -- do you want really want me to translate. John 9:34 TLB in mind.

"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”

 

--- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

“Now that you actually swore at me, you disrespected my Christianity….”  Was what she said as I screamed “f**k you, you f*****g fake saint….” I didn’t say that disrespecting all Christianity. I caught her in that she came out saying she vowed to buy a rival’s work after the fact I revealed the nightmare he really was.  The fact she called what I do as an author “foolish,” foolish -- being this is Edgar Allan Poe’s birthday; would she consider Edgar Allan Poe “foolish” with him writing stories like The Telltale Heart or The Premature Burial?

She pulled out every damned video of every white haired f*****g zealot I could think of at me. 

In her words, saying how this is the way to receive Christ, it is more or less akin to what Daniel Willow chronicled in his testimony. "What kind of dark soul in the world would try to scare the f**k out of someone into a loving God?  I used to spout Scripture every other sentence when I spoke but I realized this approach is only going to get my a*s kicked in the places I hang out at in Chicago.  These places if you stare at the abyss, the abyss is the one staring back. 

 Where faith is abandoned and madness is embraced, are the places where I take God and those are the places where the abyss stares back at you.

I can’t remember how many years it’s been since she actually moved to St. Louis from Chicago " she says we got nothing in common, but what we have in common is that hell hole we went to middle school at and having a dead classmate in common.  Writing horror was the thing that helped me face the things such as teenage death and that was one of the reasons I penned my memoir in 2007.  Sometimes writing is not always leading someone to Christ every time when something is written but if the dialog happens. Let the right question become sparked for it, don’t you ask the question let them ask it.  She might never have owned an Iron Maiden album when she was 16 or a Ray Bradbury novel.  If someone actually was brave enough to take her to an Iron Maiden show during the X-Factour, she might not have been doing the tedious Bible pounding.

When she vowed to buy an author’s book that is the author who threatened to take my family’s house away from me and claimed he ended my career years ago -- I would present the question, if she had that last $20.00 and someone who is an indie looking to pay for a hotel room for the weekend is stuck in a strange city knowing that person who has that last $20.00 was former classmate.   I say this of the Pastor’s wife. If she came walking up to me with that rival’s book in hand then shoving the Word of God down my throat then she can go to hell.  Though Christ is a God of love but she was the judge of me and of my friends who she might say I listen to the wrong music, wear the wrong clothes, read the wrong books and have the wrong friends. 

There must be an abyss wandering in the depths of her heart wanting to shove a dogma down someone’s throat after the nightmare one revealed that rival really is. The monster who goes out seeking monsters ends up becoming the monster in the process such as the ending of I Am Legend where he realizes he was seen as the monster in the new society. The things that she might not understand with an author like Richard Matheson was he was writing about a generation that hasn’t been born yet much like Hugo the Rat with Ultimate World. The idea of her idea of the world around her might be more like Hugo the Rat where he was protesting the effort of war where Richard Matheson created a world where World War III took place.

When I was trying to show her Christians that were actually cool she was shoving white haired zealots down my throat like Kenneth E. Hagin.  Someone like that might be fodder for me in a Gothic Horror story such as when I do a story where someone like him faces the reality that he entered us back into a new dark age.  Kenneth E. Hagin might see the world in a way where it is just spiritual and divine but I see that but I also see a scientific sense of the word to being that I have to put my faith in doctors throughout 2002-2005 because of my bronchitis I suffered off and on up to moving into my apartment in Justice, Illinois. Living with two room mates who tend to dress in black and listen to Bela Legosi’s Dead --- you have to be a little subtle with the way you do things when you speak of God and the Bible here.  I might be seen as a demoniac because I see things through a darker set of eyes here, but there is a book that had been published by Carl Jung where one sees their “shadow." My memoir is seen in shadows in that sense of the word as I picked this term to call my book because Carl Jung wrote about shadows in terms of our darker sides.  Author Stephen A. Diamond had written a book about the dark side of psychology and this might be in the territory a heavy metal band like Metallica would cover in their lyrics.  So when I see the Pastor’s Spouse in this sense " where the mind is a physical thing,  it does get sick and when someone would call an author like me a lunatic and “stupid,” I get the response like Tom Hanks character Forrest Gump where he refuses to be called “stupid” or “retard.”

I don’t hate the Pastor’s Spouse though I have cussed her out " I just wish she woke up and took the red pill meaning the story continues as some within the business wish I took the blue pill and my story ends.   I am writing this in the sense from a science fiction writer’s sense as I am a science fiction author as well as I write horror.  But this " I have to address everyone who tends to call authors like Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Richard Matheson or Stephen King “fools” because they tend to have an insight on the world that goes against the norm or too radical for the rest of the mainstream to understand.   

I am hardly a house hold name here, but what I say of people like Kenneth E. Hagin who might never read an Edgar Allan Poe story in his life " what one might realize when they read stories by authors mentioned here as I published two of the four authors named.

This pastor’s wife refuses to engage someone in an intelligent conversation knowing that she will be out classed because it takes more than just the Bible to see the world for what the cesspool it is.  My publishing partners had gently told me be careful when actually calling people to the rug -- I do call people out when they accuse me of stealing manuscripts (ahem Hullaballoo Wolfowitz I am addressing you numb-nuts.)  If the pastor’s spouse really thinks I am that fucked up, then she hasn’t read my TOC mates in Darkened Horizons: Issue 3.  This pastor’s spouse carries herself high and mighty -- miss fucken perfect,  but if you were to look deep into the depths of her soul. It’s an abyss darker than what Edgar Allan Poe would even imagine when he wrote The Mask of Red Death. Someone who is a woman of God shouldn’t use the cops to confront someone who had insulted them publicly or in an e-mail quite harshly.  The thing comes to mind when they call someone who has a mental illness a damned lunatic, the courtroom they should address them is my courtroom and that courtroom is the court of public opinion. I am not a f*****g lunatic!

If one is going to talk to someone one to one especially when one made it clear when they are going to spend their hard earned cash on one’s professional enemies, they don’t have the right to come to your house to confront you.   

If they confront you " do it in your element, let them do it when you are doing an event somewhere without cops and in front of your trusted friends in the area.  

When a pastor’s spouse got insulted the way I did with her, that was being polite. 

Clearly she hasn’t read what Dan Willow wrote of a pastor’s wife when she left her husband after she wasn’t able to get what she wants.  I will politely call someone like that a lady of the night or a lot lizard.  She’s saying she will meet me in Chicago, but I didn’t tell her exactly when I will be in Chicago as I am still working out the details with the author planning this event.   This is that author’s show here; and the thing with Religious Zealot b******s is they have never outgrown their fear of the dark or constantly explain what is being of the unexplained. More or less,  using superstition to explain something that is clearly scientific.

She claims she didn’t call me a “f*****g lunatic,” but she didn’t have to swear to call me a lunatic.One of the people who caught the brunt of the memoir actually apologized as I am writing this . I told her that there was one who was worst than she was in the industry.  Explaining that she grew when the other didn’t; the pastor’s spouse pulled out my families address saying she will front me in front of my family’s house saying that I threatened her life when I just told her off in a really hostile way. Suggesting she needs to be in the fucken nuthouse.

F**k you you f*****g fake saint; she carries herself like the Good lil’ Christian in truth. 

 I pissed her off because I had challenged the goddamned stereotype since year one. Staring in the mirror and in the abyss staring back at her, in reality her soul is a f*****g goblin.  The pastor’s spouse could learn from those who had apologized for tormenting the crap out of people when they were young. Though I with frustration I address, but instead she is taking notes from those who are in their thirties still calling other adults “retard” of suggesting one need “decades of therapy…”

Another classmate seeing my book and said,  “You are crazy…”

I told her " look what I had to put up with…..

Another author wrote horror is a genre that is born out of a combination of inspiration and madness. In factory worker's wording, sometimes there is a fine line between the two especially when one examines the abyss too long.  Where the pastor’s spouse called both myself and Poe “fools,” it’s because she doesn’t have the attention span to read Poe’s work nor have the smarts to do the back reading my subject matter requires.  H.P. Lovecraft created The Cthulhu Mythos, Poe came up with the detective story and invented the Gothic short story in the states.  

I’ve written at the root Gothic Horror, but use Gothic Horror as a blueprint for something that is unique to me.   It is like what H.P. Lovecraft had written of Fundamentalists as they are scared of rational thought or the thought of medicine changing the idea of what heals as much as faith does--- sometimes, time don’t heal.

When the ones like the classmate who call me crazy or batshit,  clearly she said that when I showed her my memoir. That is so damned funny.  I was waiting to find that photo where I signed a book in my own blood to upload that. Yeah I was looking at a photograph of a former classmate; some might draw the foreboding conclusion I am a little sick when I crack the joke he looked like he killed someone and forgot where he left the body.  

Now back to the pastor’s spouse here, how are Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Rod Serling, and Richard Matheson foolish or myself being foolish as an author?  Let me ask this question. "is the Bible the only book you ever read, don’t you have other books in the house?" If you say no to that question you really were depraved of culture.  But it is written that God gave his only Son for us, but what I see with the pastor’s spouse is she seeks out monsters so she ends up becoming the monster herself in the process.

*end*

Author's Note

If you've went to Marquardt or East: This is not acceptable

Since the pastor's spouse likes to spout scripture every other word here -- I am not going to do that but I will use this in the commentary here as she vowed to buy an enemies book and leave me in poverty. This one is from The Message...

"Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults -- unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."

-- Matthew 7:1-5

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Now we got the Scripture out of the way; we're going to go into why this was done.... This came about when a pastor's wife called not only me but author Edgar Allan Poe and H. P. Lovecraft foolish and another classmate had called me crazy. Well this was written in companion with a Goth vlogger's video talking about Poe's Birthday speaking up for him. Especially when I learned that Ted got copies of my projects just in time for Poe's Birthday. So this goes with the video too. This pastor's wife was staring into the abyss saying that her idea of being saved came from getting in a baptismal pool.
     Her picture here is used under fair use as that was her Classmates.com adult photo before she was chased off the site, when she was caught befriending the plagiarist who lifted The Pattern of Diagnosis. The second classmate who the entire middle school responded as they cried foul was when I took aim at Mandy 'BabyGurl" Raines.
      Before Hibbett befriended the plagiarist I had been seen as the collective boogeyman in the factions -- the IFB sect as a pastor confirmed I pissed more people off than I did when I introduced The Fandom Writer in 2004.
      I found out that many IFB based facebook pages learned of the controversial blog entry that became King James Only Examined as this was similar to this article. I told her if she dismisses the fifth issue of the magazine; and claim that everything I do should demand an altar call -- I am going to say she's fucking churchy. Not even my Issue Five contributor who teaches at a Christian High School was doing that; I gave him a tool to teach Lovecraft's material into his class as Issue Five in itself could be used as a tool in certain circles.
      I even found another modern version of the parable as this is related by a pastor who's also a historian and an investigative journalist. She stifles David Wright who worked on a book with a Minister -- she's committing a sin against everything that's philosophical and academic. She must got her academia from Ken Ham or his circle. Her book section is a joke.

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