A Memoir

A Story by Abraham Luna

A Memoir to the Grim Reaper of freedom.

A Memoir

It was around July 2014 where the first outburst of help occurred in the house. The noise that was brought back home. The cries inside his head. We all want to forget about a horrendous experience but how does one forget about something that’s heavy as boulder. The squeeze of the life taker. The projectile of freedom. He’s a human being just like you and I but they’re something that differentiates him between you and me. He was a well-oiled machine that had no emotion years ago, and now he’s beginning to show oxidization and raw human like qualities.

I was 11 when I met this man and my parents had just been divorced for 6 months. It wasn’t even a whole year until another “Father Figure” was in my life. I was distraught of all the s**t that was going on in my life. I as an 11-year-old considered suicide because I kept saying why me? what did I do to deserve this? when in fact I did nothing. I wanted to be ‘normal’ kid with a stable house hold. When I attended school I still remember the melancholy atmosphere that I would get because of the s**t that had just happened 6 months ago. It was like the death of a loved one, but no one had died. I was under the impression that I was never going to see my biological father ever again.

Time passes by and I become accustomed to my real father not being around. In time I began to warm up to the Grim Reaper from Hell. He became my new best friend. He was that person I looked up to. He was fun until he began to consume his gasoline. As he sipped the gasoline it fueled the pain in him. It fueled fire and blood. Once he let out the hell that burns in him the house burns down. Death and destruction is reciprocated through each strike that hits the walls. He curses with the Devil’s tongue for he is the devil’s advocate. He is the Grim Reaper, He is the embodiment of Satan. For he was my friend so of course he wouldn’t hurt me. Now it’s 11 am and my “father” wakes from his sleep and I just say nothing I pretend like nothing happened. It was all dream for it happened at night. I’m fine I said.

I’m waking up early where I could see the sun rising above the sequoias. The sun is bright orange and the wilderness is cold and unforgiving. I get dressed and get ready for the day. As I’m walking down the stairs I enter the living room I see him sitting on his ‘throne’ It’s not even 9 Am and you’re already awake playing Call of Duty with a Heineken beer on the floor. “Morning Adrian”. The devil has a name!!! It’s a dull a*s morning just the usual s**t. I eat my cornflakes go to school go home repeat. Then there was this one time I think it was when my family came back from the beach. I was at my friend’s house across the street. We were playing Zombies on the X-box 360. I ended up going home because it started to get dark. As I crossed the suburban cul-de-sac I was getting closer to the scene. I saw the sorrow in my mother’s eyes. I walked closer “What happened?!” already assuming Adrian did something which I wasn’t wrong. My mother speaks to me and say’s “Stay the night at Joey’s house” I walked into the house and I could just sense the negativity emanating through the walls. I take look at the kitchen and the drawers are taken all the way out and on the floor. I step over the debris and into the living room and I see the glass table spread throughout the carpet floor with only the frame of the table intact. I walk into the second living room and the other table is lodged into the wall the glass on that was also shattered. I guess you can say the shattered table represents my mother’s shattered relationship with this man. He wasn’t like this until he started drinking again. Mother you said you’d put your kids first but you lied to me and my brothers. Hypocrite. You were selfish saying you loved him but you just didn’t want to be alone. After the first instance of domestic abuse I thought you would have left you being a therapist and all. Anyways I go upstairs and get my s**t and go. As I walk back to Joey’s house I noticed the tree had been chopped clean off. He ran it over with his lifted truck. The next day passed and I return home. I noticed that the window had been smashed too! Maybe I was such in a hurry I didn’t see it. I thought that would have been the last time I would see the Grim Reaper but he returned. He gave off this plastic smile saying he’s changed and won’t do it again. I saw you walk up the drive way and saw that you came back. I just rolled my eyes and “S**t you’re back” once your final act happened that’s when you completely lost yourself. Stabbing a puppy in the abdomen in front of me you almost did. Thank god you didn’t. I called the police on you because you told me you were going to do it. Take your life and everything ends, but don’t do it in front of me. I called because I didn’t want you to. I hate you! I want you to die! Please live. You ran away and I didn’t see you after that. The final memory I have of you is throwing a soda can nearly missing my head and crushing the LCD TV we had. F**k you Adrian I don’t want others going through what I went through. I just graduated high school and you’re not there. What’s new? I’m so used to people not being there for me when I have to do things all by myself. However, I wasn’t alone. Mother went.
“PAPA! ONDE ESTAS?!”

“Aqui hijo”

My real dad was there for the last two years of my high ‘school career’ I guess you can say with all this bull s**t that I’ve gone through it’s made me a stronger person. I didn’t know what I wanted to do after I graduated. I considered being payed to kill, f**k that I don’t want to be the Grim Reaper himself. So that’s when I thought of you. Mr. Grim Reaper. Thank you for putting me through Hell, because now I know what I want to do with my life. I want to help people with your sickness for killing and stress. I want to be the one in the VA to help a vet and prevent you from hurting other families.

Thank you, Mr. Grim Reaper.