Long rant. I'm done with this s**t

It's funny how you can care so much about about someone, devote time and energy to being their friend, and to just be an afterthought to them. After knowing someone for a year, you think you would have priority over someone they just met. But they can't seem to find the time to be with you when that new shiny friend wants them over every night.

And even 3 years into a friendship, living in a town where she only knows you and another friend, she would rather make new friends (friends she'll likely never see again), than fix a problem with an old, loyal one. It hurts to know that you've known me longer than your boyfriend, but I'm still just an afterthought, or a backup plan.

I'm glad the two of you get along so well. I still think it's unfair that he jumped in line to be with you, and that you just let him do it. But for what it's worth, I'm glad you think you're happy. Someday soon he'll pop the question, and you'll likely say yes, because he's good enough. I hope when he does you get a rush of understanding, like having your nostrils opened by a peppermint candy. I hope you realize how hard I would have worked to give you anything and everything. I hope you realize that you were scared to face your real feelings, and that you abandoned a friend who would have died for you. I hope you realize that you've wasted your greatest opportunity.

Hopefully by that time I'll have healed up. Hopefully by then I won't have you always on my mind. If you decide to accept his mediocrity, then kudos to you. If you decide to tell me how you really feel, to come running back to me, I hope it's too late for you. I hope I'll have moved on by then.

Until that special day when he proposes, I hope you are sick with regret. I hope you lie awake every night, haunted by the guilt of ruining a friend. I hope you can't eat, it makes you so sick. One of these days I'll find someone better, someone who doesn't have to fake their happiness and who doesn't drown out their negative feelings with laughter. Eventually I'll find someone better than that stupid b***h who doesn't even realize what she's doing, despite having been explicitly told.

Kind of emo, but I think Atreyu expresses the emotions pretty well:

"Please take your eyes off of me
It's funny how fast blue eyes fade gray - liar

Let me be captivated by your beauty
And then let me fall from your grace
Unto my broken knees
Close my eyes so tightly
The tears are welling up
You aren't worth the waste
Of the salt or the f*****g water

Just wither away real beauty is forever... in you"