Ravaged Ruins

Traded in carbs for cups full of coffee,

With each sip the cup was fuller than me,

Black coffee never before tasted so sweet,

Than when my hunger was finally beat,

I lost my desire to survive and eat.

Theres a sick twist when you know you’re not obese,

But you are never quite as skinny as you want to be,

Because the feeling of starvation from hunger can be beat,

When you’re scared of your thighs covering your seat.

What is beauty if I am not set at my own standard,

I want to be skinny so the price of this does not matter,

Hunger goes away when you stare into the mirror,

But nothing is there any longer just a girl shattered,

Admiring the parts of herself that to others are tattered.

Please don't get upset when I scream at my stomach,

That little bit of chub on me is something I can't take,

I want to be so small people worry my bones will break,

I want to be model thin even when my stomach aches.

They say the first step to recovery is admitting it’s a disorder,

I’ve hidden it so well that others cannot see the horror,

That for many years it has been my body and I at war,

I hope to one day wake up and embrace that first bite,

It is victory when I eat from the morning to the night.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

I have faced this disorder at a stage of my life, you have quite beautifully described the certain characteristics of it... The poem has been superbly thought out and presented... Well done frnd...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Aka.Hipster]

Thank you so much. I have just recently accepted the fact that I've had it for a few years now. But I'm glad it's relatable to those who have also struggled with it.