I tread

I tread

Tread this broken earth

This sphere of fallacy

This dying eden of mankind

I see the horizon gazing at me

Looming amidst waves of smog

The ever bustling crowd

Man and machines. Hand on hand

Striving for utopia

I leave my carnal desires

I shed my skin, leave my scales behind

I leave no legacy behind for the world to see

No statues and busts in my name

No songs of praise

No tales or lore

Bright lies the morning star

Angel of the dawn

The sky is cold and silver

Peaceful and calm

The heavens are alight

With countless diamonds to see

A momentary instance of epiphany

Engulfs this fragile mind

A gale of thoughts inbound

Hits the shores of the brain

Visuals of the distant past

Embers of dreams once alive

Statics of words once said

The void feels nearby

The eden of eternal limbo

The dividing line

The final destination for all

And I tread

I tread this broken earth

Author's Note

A full piece of poetry after a long time. I know this poem is dark, depressing, nihilistic but this is just a piece of fiction. A fragment of imagination.

Your precious reviews/suggestions/corrections are always welcome.

Reviews

[Zyle Christian William ..]

I love the phrase mankind a dying Eden. It really puts a time frame on our time here in a way that is equal parts terrifying and deplorable. You do a wonderful job of capturing the contempt of man in this poem. As John C Chill said, it does have a song's sense to it. I could see a bard singing this in a tavern of a medieval world scape you might craft!! Nice poem, Blackheart!!

[Blackheart]

So glad you could see the resemblance Zyle. Indeed, mankind treads to all places possible. Sometimes it brings a boon for him and sometimes it leads to destruction we cannot avoid.

[Zyle Christian William Cook]

Unfortunate but true.

[Ellen Kolman]

Brilliant and emotive poem ... it is deep and it is thought provoking and dark..but that is awesome, life is dark many times and this earth we tread is also very dark so much of the time....I loved it...this was true poetry! keep it up

[Blackheart]

This means a lot mam. Indeed what you say is absolutely true and I am glad that I was able to reflect this well. Thank you for your wonderful review. :)

[Mister T.]

Pretty dark, indeed.. But sometimes facing the reality is better than just sticking to your own version of the truth.
Nicely written, I have to say. Keep writing, keep it up, that's all I have to say for now :)

[Blackheart]

Thank you Mister T.

[andrew mitchell]

We are like ants on a bigger scale in activity, production, and in it all we stand alone! A nice write

[Blackheart]

Indeed. Thank you for your insight Andrew. :)

[Archos]

A nice summary of the darkness that is slowly falling upon us. Thank you for sharing it with us!

[Blackheart]

Thank you for understanding it. :)

[Willard Wells]

Very nice work with the word use and imagery. We do all tread the earth to find our way. Well done.

[Blackheart]

Thank you Willard. :)

[TheMalady]

It is indeed dark and depressing, however I liked how you described about the morning star that served as the guide despite of the darkness that shrouded the character. This poem is nicely written. No critiques from me, and I loved your choice of words. Great job! :)

[Blackheart]

Thank you so much. Glad you loved it. :)

[TheMalady]

You're welcome:)

[Solar]

/Bright lies the morning star
Angel of the dawn
The sky is cold and silver
Peaceful and calm
The heavens are alight
With countless diamonds to see/

It maybe an epiphany - poised on the verge of the Void- it may be momentary but it has an ethereal beauty to it. The poem doesn't feel depressing - perhaps a calm resignation? a stoic 'treading on the earth' until the final curtain. The beginning and the ending are almost like the opening and closing shots of a dystopian sci-fi movie - a lone figure treads...

[Blackheart]

A lone figure treads this earth, devoid of anything meaningful to see and understand in this man made eden. Just the same old, monotonous machinery of humans all around, he feels death will be the place for his zen. Because, there isn't any hope for mankind left. Man is paving the way for his own destruction and we are following like sheeps while some man are playing god. Without permission.

[John C. Chill]

I read this and felt it would make for a brilliant song. Anyway, it also makes for a brilliant poem, filled with significance and a strong way to convey it. It's sadly rare to see the scarcity of critical poetry and writing in general around here. It's fortunate that there are people like you who are willing to swim against the tide, after all, that's the way to change the world. Very good job :D

[Blackheart]

Thank you so much for your generous words. It means a lot to me. And yes, this is dark, albeit depressing, but unfortunately that's my genre of writing and I can't help it.

Glad you liked it and yes, I have always been swimming against the tide and will continue to do so. :)