Maniacal

A piece that I had debated whether to post on here before.

The eyes staring at me
From thick walls of sand
The ghostly shrieks of glee
Reach out with red hands

Their whispers fill me
With sounds of unseen
Their bloodlust washing
My fears so unclean

You push and you scream
But I've got you tight
Our echoes of steam
Call us back to the night

The whispers will guide me
Into a sick dance
The thought of what would be
Twirls me into a trance

My eyes show the madness
That calls me tonight
If you were to have this
You'd scream for the light

The ice that contains me
The fire in my soul
What I once thought to be
The things of my whole

They slashed and they cut through
To break down my strength
The things I once could do
Were cut off from length

As my hands disappear
My talents now fade
The music I could hear
Was nothing I made

I scream and I claw
At the door now before me
My mind and its laws
My sanity tore from me

The walls grow their own hands
And reach out to scratch
Whipping their red bands
A nightmare has hatched

The monster now holds me
In tight, freezing fear
The voices have told me
They'll kill all who's near

I push at your concern
I shove you away
A smirk makes my brain turn
"They've come out to play"

Their sick games of torture
They wrap me with lies
They take me and mold Her
To open Her eyes

The creature I once was
Hollowed in wood
The pain sings what it does
As she wishes she could

My mind spinning sideways
The voices still there
The laws and my mind's ways
To break them I'd dare

Now save me from this hell
As I fail to cope
My skin is a cold shell
Show me why there is hope

Reviews

[Acucena G.]

Its amazing poem, its not predictive, and i think its epic. Good written

[Clyde Barrow]

Can any of you actually explain what this poem is about or are you just saying it's beautiful because of the melodramatic language and obvious word choice when rhyming?

[AWickedMoon]

Personally when I read it I imagined someone who is border line insane being taken over by this insanity. This in turn seeming to make him think that if he stays with his lover then it could result in her injury or worse. But that's just my opinion I actually quite enjoyed it, but not everyone's writing style is for everyone.

[Bonnie Parker]

This poem makes little to no sense and all of you people reviewing it saying how wonderful it is just find the use of flowery language appealing.

[kelseyalexrose]

Beautifully written, this is so, so amazing.

[DamienHino]

This is great, hopefully you share more like this. Seemed like a short dark story.

[Caradoc]

Interestingly intense.

An image is conjured in my mind's eye of one who struggles with their own sanity. The madness seeks to take hold. Perhaps this could be a narration of what it is like to slowly succumb to paranoid schizophrenia. The walls with hands and eyes and the whispers certainly would qualify it as such.

Good rhyme scheme. Superb imagery, eerily so in fact. The downward flowing poem in the center is something I have told others that I like. It really grabs the attention.

Questions though. Who does the narrator want to save them? And why so hesitant to post this?

Good write.

-Caradoc

[compositionc]

Wow. That's just...intense. Seriously.
Favourite stanza;

Their sick games of torture
They wrap me with lies
They take me and mold Her
To open Her eyes

I just found that oddly lovely and kind of epic. I'm weird. All right.