Untouchable

As the clock on the wall ticks,
My heart is out of sync
So I rip it out and reset it.
Smiling at the blood.

This love for perfection
Destroys me bit by bit.
Forgive me if I stare,
I admire your strength to avoid.

The voices provoke me
To sing and to dance,
So that the burning in my head
Slowly submerges into insanity.

Forgive me if I'm blind,
Deaf to your suffering and
Mute to stand against it.
My hands are too tired to touch.

My love for intimacy has died
Along with the desire for you.
May God have a plan
That erases this isolation.

Whispers have edged to screams
That rattle my spinning mind
And pull a smile on my lips.
A smile to keep humans away.

As the tug of an invisible hand
Shakes me away from your world,
I will submit to the void
And sink away in numbness.

The darkness where everything is perfect
And nothing will disturb me.
Where nobody can ruin what I've done
And no one can touch me.

Where I will not fear anything,
Nor will I run from the people
Who reject and beat me
With their words and mocking laughs.

The pain that once stung my fingers,
When I wrote of lies
And created false fantasies of life
Will be erased forever.

The few that I once cared for
Will forget me in their own happiness,
And fill the hole that I created
With the shell I left behind.

They will believe it is me
My soul will be free in numb perfection
While the hollow body still there
Suffers in the shadows of insanity.

Reviews

[Alskar]

What comes across most in this poem is this resentment towards the object of poem, who seems to have perhaps abandoned the speaker at some point. As a result of this failed relationship or abandonment, the speaker seems to have recoiled into themselves towards the end of the poem and finds the darkness a comfort. By the end, the speaker is content with their new sense of apathy as it means they are unable to be hurt.

For me to gauge all this from a piece proves what high quality it is. Your stanzas are very neat, which I'm not entirely sure whether it works or not. On one hand, the neat stanzas directly display each stage of the poem and the speaker's mind so we easily see them descend into numbness, but a more erratic structure in the beginning could mirror their resentful thoughts. It's not a huge issue, especially as the rest of the poem is so good, but it's a debate point as to whether the feelings could be better expressed by a slight change to the structure. The poem manages to be both direct with it's message and subtle, which is an incredibly difficult thing to pull off. Most poetry is either one or the other, but in striking a balance you've made it both easy and enjoyable to read and comprehend the emotions of the speaker. My only other niggle is the use of clocks and hearts and blood in the first stanza. It's the kind of stuff you always hear in this sort of poetry, and I think the piece deserves to have more unique and less overused images in it. But don't get me wrong, this is great.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. Took me to many sad places in your words. A lot of disappointment in this poem. I like the strong language and the many strong statements in this poem.
"The darkness where everything is perfect
And nothing will disturb me.
Where nobody can ruin what I've done
And no one can touch me."
Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[M Garcia]

wonderful

[joshua deathdealer]

This is brilliant. Its got a nice flow and great imagery. Well penned.

[A-Lovely-Anxiety]

Wonderful poem. I absolutely loved it.

[Jane Doe]

It was wonderful
Everything about it was just AMAZING:)


xoxo
~abbie
100/100

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Damn. This one was totally worth waiting for! The darkness was horrific, but somehow you managed to place a silver lining around it. You've given us the experience of life and placed all of our beliefs on trial. It makes me take responsibility for ever action...no matter how small. This poem captures the universe in a tiny crystal ball and places all of its secrets on display for all to see.

[Ciel]

I really like this, your a good writer