I hold out a candle, shivering And wonder whether to burn myself To remember the pain way past And remember the shame I caused Remember how I set off destruction And led to my own sick demise I let out a hushed cry, trembling And choose whether to withdraw Dive into an empty cavern So that I may lay peacefully at last Please don't pity me, those good in the world Don't waste your precious breath Save it for those who truly deserve life Save it for those who deserve holiness I need someone to close off the world And whisper to me that my work is done Assure me that I have made a difference Sing a lullaby of such lies in the dark Maybe I could convince myself those true And die with a painted smile on my lips So that I feel my time here has had purpose Instead of wasted breath for those who are worthy Lie to me, my angel of this earth Lie to me, please, sing to me in my solitude And lay me on a bed of roses with thorns intact So that I may fall asleep forever Away from where I cause pain and trouble While you sing the sweet melody of lies Lie to me, please.
I actually almost started crying while reading this. I'm not quite sure that I got the same thing out of it that everyone else did, but what I did get really made me feel sorrowful. It was indeed a dark poem. I really enjoyed reading it. It was nicely worded and I loved it. The music you added to it made it even better. You always write such good poems. All of your writing is fantastic. This is no exception. I love you, Cloud!
This was touching, it reminds me of myself in many ways. I tend to enjoy the darker poems more because it shouts what's going on inside. I was close to tears while I read this. The wording works wonderfully because of it's natural flow. The music you added really did enhance the reading. I played the music the second time while I read it and it made me enjoy it even more. Wonderful job, Cloud! You're writing is amazing, just like you!
Very VERY emotionally driven in which I can relate. It was dark, yet so sorrowfully helpless and hopeless, which made it have the dream-like quality of giving up, saying goodbye to the world...
Though know that everyone brings a little light into someone else's world at one time or another. You are very talented!
wow! I really really liked this! i was much different than other simular poetry I've read and it made me think about things. again, I absoultly love this, it is truly a beautiful poem.
"Tell me tales from days bygone, tell me little lies. Tell me once again it's just you and I."
-Temples of Gold, Kamelot
Another sad poem, a tale of days bygone for someone. Too bad I cannot listen to the piano song at the bottom. Instead while reading, I am listening to the song that I quoted.
Your words convey such sorrow and pain. Yet still the ability to do so in such a clear manner is beautiful. Some people are not good with words and some are. I bet if you tried you could write really eloquent and memorable symphonic metal songs.
Wow... this is an amazing piece. So sad, heart breaking, but relatable. I haven't come across a poem in a while that effected me as this one did. It brought back memories of the past, painful memories.
A very well done on this piece. It's definitely going into my favourites library. Brilliant work :)
I feel so much anguish and suffering coming from this poem. But at the same time its beautiful, and sad. I don't have much to say, other than that its a dark but wonderful poem.
"I need someone to close off the world
And whisper to me that my work is done
Assure me that I have made a difference....
So that I feel my time here has had purpose
Instead of wasted breath for those who are worthy"
Funny how just last night I was feeling these same words. I'd feel so much better knowing this life I own had a true purpose. One I could happily die for.
Nice write
I know what this feels like. Blaming yourself, mixed emotions, do you want to bleed or do you want to just stop? do you want to live or die? feeling this way takes a large toll on a person but without feeling what are we? would you rather be in pain or be so numb you feel nothing? this is what the poem speaks to me. questions. I think id rather feel pain, then at least i know im alive. Very good Poem :)
They removed your song! >.< I just listened to another sad one, but I still am kind of disappointed because I feel that I've lost how the original poem was supposed to feel. Oh well.
I liked this poem for the usual reasons that I like all of your poems: it wasn't restricted by a rhyme scheme, but there is still an obvious element of control throughout, and you have great sensitivity with which words you use.
The subject of this poem is one that we all probably can relate to, and it certainly resonated with me: we all have those moments in our lives--especially at the end--when we need to be comforted by soothing words, even if they aren't always true. Good job~
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