Tired

I'm getting all so tired of this.
Its always you I always miss.
I didn't want this anymore.
I am required to adore.

My eyes are always dark and worn.
My spirit's become so ripped and torn.
My heart is always hard and cold.
I should've done what I was told.

I'm done with loving pointlessly.
I'm filled with sadness, as you see.
I feel so broken, I hurt my friends.
I want to hide until it ends.

I'm tired of being so sad and worthless.
I kill the joy and am now so useless...
I hate my love and I want to live.
I have one thing I want you to give.

I want my life back.

Reviews

[Juliet Ray]

Great rhyming! This poem is lovely!

[Marlena]

I liked this, but I feel like the first stanza needs some work. Your flow is pretty good, it wavers a bit in the last actual stanza, but it's all right. This has a lot of emotion in it, which can sometimes make other things not quite so important when it comes to looking at structure. The first stanza though really bugs me, "It's always you I always miss" is a bit repetitive because you say "always" twice within the span of two words. "I didn't want this anymore" should be "I don't want this anymore" because the rest of the sentence is basically past tense. I understand what you're saying in this, but it just needs a little work in the beginning.

As for the rest, lovely. Keep it up :)

[Tate Morgan]

Then take it back stand up and take it back

[Matthew Kult]

Hello Cloud,

It's been some time since we last chatted, you doing okay? I know you been off doing your own thing for some time and I am sure school has been keeping you but don't be afraid to stop in and say hello.

This is a sad piece, I could really feel the loss in this and am sorry if this is how you feel currently. I know exactly how you feel being lost for some time till I was able to find the path that lead me to where I am today, but it was a bumpy road. I do hope yours is a bit smoother.

Always,

Matthew

[Anicca]

Crammed with emotion and beautiful written. Fabulous write!

[Keevan]

Powerful and full of emotion. I really loved this, though I must dissagree when you said you were worthless and useless. YOU'RE NOT, DUDE! YOU'RE AWESOME! But all in all, awesome poem! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A poem with a purpose. Sometime we must walk away and let go of the bad things to be able to see the light of a new day.I like the feel and the ending of this poem.A outstanding poem.
Coyote