Even the Sky is Flawed

This is more of a rant. I apologize if its not what you normally enjoy reading from me.

Last night we slept on the soft beach sand
Just laying and looking up at the stars.
They mocked me all night, remember?
Reminded us their beauty will never be ours.

Your passionate kisses melted my brain away
So the sky surely looked to me like a face.
I laughed and said the moon's an imperfection
You said even the sky is flawed as I stirred in your embrace.

The grains of sand reminded me of my imperfect skin
But you pulled me to your sweltering chest.
And whispered into my ear that nothing is perfect
 And all that was needed now was peace and rest.

I tugged on your hand when the waves tickled my feet
You ran your hand down my waist when my stomach gnawed.
You whispered the sweet gifts I granted you with were proof
That even the sky can please man when its flawed.

Author's Note

Sorry if its not your cup of tea. I just kind of needed to rant :)
Nevertheless, give me your honest criticism and opinion.

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Very powerful work. The images were haunting. The message is very original and that is what makes it such a great piece. You have creative vision. Trust your imagination and you will continue to write more great work. I enjoyed this one.

[Daydreamer54]

Just laying and looking up at the stars.
They mocked me all night, remember?
Reminded us their beauty will never be ours.
I love these lines! I like the mood u created with this. Nice job! Liike I said, it's good to put what u have on ur mind wriiten down on the paper

[Taylor H.]

loved this. the emotions dripped from this piece. Great job

[Closed Account]

I really like this! It's cute. You did a great job writing this!(:

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a good rant. I really enjoyed this. I don't hate it at all. I liked that it was something different girl! Anyways good write. :)